On the second day of our online Kingdom parenting class, we talk about CONNECTION. I asked if their parents saw the value in them. There are always two camps. Those who were raised in dysfunctional homes and those whose parents tucked them in at night, took them to Disney, showered them with love and attention, provided for them, and enjoyed them. But there was always a BUT… Since I was in the first camp, this bothered me. Whenever day two would come around, I KNEW what the answers would be, and I would brace myself. Seriously, how can you have a “BUT…” when your parents were there for you, loved you, and were involved in your world? That is until Jesus spoke. He told me that I was becoming judgmental of those who claimed to have a great childhood and still confessed something was missing. Because it was HIM who put that void there. NO child is wired to be 100% filled by their mom and dad. There are some places in our hearts that are reserved for Him. This is great news. If Jesus is ultimately who our children need to be connected with in order to be whole, then maybe 18 years of parenting is less about us and should be more about Him! Even if you were perfect, it would not be enough, so let’s stop trying (and feeling guilty about it when we are not) and usher our children to the only perfect Parent.
A mom currently taking our Kingdom parenting online class shares this powerful revelation: “I believe I had a revelation the other day. You touched on it in today’s lesson when you said, ‘If you find that you are having a hard time getting your child interested in releasing the Kingdom, don’t turn it into a legalistic battle of wills. Instead, focus on your relationship with them.’ I need to work on our relationship. I’ve been focused on being their teacher, disciplinarian, trainer, and encourager, but not the mom who loves and plays well.”
This subject is my heartbeat and life story. It is the area of greatest heartbreak and pain and yet my greatest area of redemption and joy. God asked me years ago to gather a group of moms and teach them the revelations God has given to me to unlock the family cycles and align my family with HIS. The fruit was so significant that their friends came to me asking me to teach them, too. Years later, month after month, I am still walking parents through the journey of unlocking their own families. I am not selling you a product. I am inviting you to invest in your family so that your children do not need to experience what you experienced. I am giving you tools to learn how to connect to your child’s heart. I am empowering you that you truly are enough for the job of raising the next generation. I am equipping you to set your grandchildren up for greater success. Together we are changing your family’s legacy!
God created us to be fully alive, deeply accepted, and truly belong. The aftermath of the fall is that man became a spiritual orphan separated from God and wandered around life, feeling profound feelings of abandonment, loneliness, and isolation. The Good News is that Jesus came to restore us to that place of deep security with the Father. We can accept Christ yet still wander like an orphan, striving, begging, and doing life on our own. Imagine a child digging through the dump, fending for themselves, and meeting their needs for food and clothing all on their own. Now picture a palace where the table is always set and a room with your name on it. When we become Christians, we get the honor of living in the palace, yet some enjoy the view and go back to the dump laboring daily to meet their needs. It is impossible to raise a child as a Son/Daughter in the palace when you occupy the dump yourself. Orphan parenting is when we parent our children from a place of isolation, abandonment, self-protection, striving, loneliness, self-sufficiency, and lack. We are teaching them orphan living, not Kingdom reality.
God did not knit your child together, hand them to you, and say, “Good luck.” His intention all along was to partner with you in parenting. He has given you tools, keys, and strategies to be a successful parent, cultivate a peaceful home, and raise children who are a joy.
Join our online JOURNEY class to give you the tools you need to be the parent you always dreamed you would be. You can learn more and register here: Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly
These are the testimonies I love so dearly. This sweet mama took my class one night and sent me a testimony before she even went to bed!
“Something awesome just happened with my daughter. When I picked her up tonight, I could immediately tell something was off, but the Lord pressed me not to ask anything until we got home. When she was in bed, I went to say goodnight and asked her if she would like to ask Jesus why she was feeling what she was feeling. She said yes, so we asked Jesus what was going on. She said that Jesus said there was darkness in her heart. We asked Jesus where the darkness was coming from, but when I asked her if Jesus said anything, she said, “No… well… yes… but it was different this time… He said not to worry because I’m His, and He is mine.’ Lisa, I just started crying. I feel like with all this heaviness, Jesus is saying and showing that He’s breaking through all of it. I just wanted to share that with you. Thank you so much for teaching me how to do this. It’s been a revelation for me as a parent, connecting with the kids as well as connecting the kids to Jesus.”
Childhood owies can turn into adult-sized wounds. Childhood lies can turn into adult strongholds. Childhood offenses can turn into adult bitterness.
The goal is to remove the owie before it becomes a life-threatening spiritual wound! I call these owies, heart splinters. Have you ever taken a splinter out of a child’s finger? You surely do not want to do it in public! They yell and scream and act like you are cutting off their finger. But once it is out, they run off and play as if nothing happened. Have you ever tried to remove a heart splinter that has been stuck for years from an adult? While they may have a smile on their face, they will protect that wounded site at all costs. Even attempting to touch it will cause pain, as the tiny splinter now has a blanket of inflammation and infection around it. Can you see the difference between how a child deals with the pain versus a grown adult? What does a child with a splinter in their heart look like? They act out, scream, bully their siblings, yell, disobey, pinch, overeat, refuse to eat, hit, kick, cause trouble with siblings, have nightmares, they retreat, slam doors, yell “I hate you,” cry, are rude, are mean and are disrespectful! This is why it is so vital to raise up parents who can discern what is going on beneath the surface of their child’s outbursts. You are the one who knows what is normal for your child. You are the one who knows when they are acting out from being hungry, tired, or when it appears “out of the blue.” You have known their cry since they were first ushered into your arms. You are the one God entrusted to listen to them. You are their mama/daddy, their advocate, their teacher and helper! Unresolved heart splinters create mental, emotional and physical isolation which is the breeding ground for the enemy to whisper lies.
A young mom texted me, desperate for some help. She began to tell me that while shopping, her daughter wanted a particular toy. It was quite expensive, and the mom said no. The daughter became so unglued that the mother had to carry her out of the store. The entire way home she was trashing the car, throwing things and screaming. When they got home, her tantrum intensified, and she drew blood from her mother’s arms while she attempted to get her up the stairs and into her room for a time out. The mom was beside herself as her daughter had never acted this badly before, and she desperately wanted to know what to do. I shared with her that there was a “heart splinter” and that we just needed to partner with Holy Spirit to discern if it was a hurt, lie or offense was so that we could remove the splinter that was causing her heart so much pain and agitation. I encouraged the mom to bring a sheet of paper and crayons to her very distraught daughter and encourage her in a very soft voice to draw what was going on (children can articulate their heart better through drawing than they can by talking). Almost immediately, the daughter calmed down and picked up a crayon. The mom was texting me while the daughter was drawing a picture about her school from SIX months ago. The mom was asking how in the world she was supposed to know what happened that long ago. I encouraged her to relax and let Holy Spirit lead her daughter to freedom. We weren’t looking for the details of an event; facts do not set us free. We were looking for the hurt, lie or offense. Holy Spirit is our HELPER, and we need to give Him room to do His job. She began to draw a picture of a day when she got in trouble for misbehaving. Most people are trained to deal with the behavior or acting out, but God looks at the heart, so we need to question WHY she was acting out. What caused the sudden change in behavior that day that was so drastic she got in trouble for it? If you want to bring your child back into alignment, you must go a wee bit deeper and not just react to the outward behavior. Even if the child doesn’t know, we can ask Jesus because He was there. The mom helped the daughter ask Jesus what was going on in her heart when she got in trouble. He wants the truth out more than we do! She then drew a picture of being at her dad’s house the night before. Her daddy failed to protect her and let her eyes see things on TV that scared her and made her feel unsafe. BINGO! So why the outburst of behavior six months later? Because there was a splinter in her heart of hurt (and fear), and when the mom said no to the toy that she really wanted, it pushed the splinter down further and it hurt. Can you guess what the daughter’s love language is? Yes, gifts. We don’t need to fuss or worry about how it all unfolds. Do we really think that the enemy plays fair and by the rules? Resist the urge to have it all make perfect sense. Just be led by the Spirit and He will show you the root cause. Now that we knew what was going on, I walked the mom through how to lead the daughter to #1. forgive her dad for not protecting her. Then they #2. asked Jesus where He was that day and then followed up with the greatest question we can ask Him in our time of distress: #3. They asked Jesus the question, “Jesus, how do You feel about me?” Nothing stomps on the enemy’s head more than finding out Jesus’ feelings about someone because His view is always full of truth, love, and life. The mom texted five minutes later saying she had her sweet daughter back.
This precious little girl was acting out the heart splinter the next day in school, and the school disciplined her for her behavior but failed to see she needed protection to feel safe again. That put her in emotional isolation, and that is where she becomes susceptible to the enemy’s lies. Picture the mom spanking, yelling, isolating, punishing, and disciplining the child into obedience. Was that ever really the issue? Would heaven do that to us when we are afraid or feel unsafe? We treat children like they are in blatant sin and punish them when what they really need is HELP! There is a time and place for corrective discipline, but when we use it at the wrong time, it can push the splinter in even deeper. Do not partner with condemnation after reading this. We have all done it, and it has been done to us many times. The point isn’t to pass blame; the point is to praise God for bringing us into a deeper revelation that there is a better way. This is the epitome of what Let the Children Fly is all about. I am passionate about empowering parents to help their children with real tools to resolve these heart splinters IN childhood!
I encourage you to come and get the tools you need to be empowered, equipped and trained further in your parenting JOURNEY. Sign up here: Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly
Moms from all over have hosted BOOK CLUBS using our JOURNEY book. Simply gather moms in your house, at the park or coffee shop and order a book for each person. Walk through the material and together grow in building your family. Journey is a 128-page magazine-style book that empowers parents on how to align their family with His. We will walk through how to hear God’s voice, connect with your children, play in the Kingdom and resolve childhood issues in childhood.
Order yours now! Journey Book – Let the Children Fly
I want more families to be intentional about their children! I want YOU to embrace all God has for you and your family. I burn for more. I yearn that we, the Bride, all of us, would know that there is NO weapon formed against us that shall prosper but that WE will march forth and walk in victory because God Himself is leading us. I want your connection with your children to remain intact so that they are spared from the countless years of agony we endured. I want them to know how amazing and powerful they are because you speak it over them daily. I want them to know, like second nature, how to go to Papa God and discuss the burdens of their heart with Him directly. Ah, that the children would be trained and equipped by intentional parents who do not partner with feelings of inadequacy but know who they are themselves. Oh, I burn for this.
Join our JOURNEY online class to get the tools you need. Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly
Mom of three shares: “I loved how this teaching exposed the strategy of the enemy and the current cultural and spiritual battle going on around the issue of gender and identity. I have been feeling these things for a long time in our culture and in many of my relationships but haven’t had the clarity to really understand the underlying forces at play until this course. So many great tools for helping my children and any lies or struggles they may face as well as walking in grace and truth with my co-workers and friends who still need the invitation to freedom and encounter with Jesus. And beyond the amazing tools, I also feel a new passionate fire within me to bring this revealed strategy of Heaven into my home, workplace, and church!”
It is testimonies like these that keep me encouraged. God is awakening parents to partner with Him. I love this line, “There were no fireworks. Nothing crazy happened. It was a simple prayer.” Using our authority isn’t about a wrestling match. When He says His yoke is light, that means parenting too.
“Hi Lisa! I’ve been following you for a while and am so thankful for you! I wanted to let you know how I put your teaching into practice. Recently, I was alone with my six-year-old girl in the van when she told me she sometimes gets so angry that she wants to run away from home. I couldn’t believe she felt that way but told her that she was so brave for telling me. We had time to talk just a bit about it, but I knew I needed to go after why she felt this way. Since she was two, she has been SO sensitive when we correct or discipline her. Today, when she was whining and complaining, I told her to go to her room for a bit until I came to talk to her. As she was going, she turned back around and yelled: ‘Sometimes I just feel stupid!’ I knew we needed to BOTH go upstairs and seek the Lord together. We asked God to show her why she was feeling this way. She gave me examples at school. Nothing major there. Nothing she said had anything to do with someone else doing something to her. It was always about something she did (but in my eyes, they were no big deals!). And then, she began to say negative things about herself. So it dawned on me that it was not an incident or someone else that caused this; I thought it was a spirit of self-hatred. I needed to pray again and break off the spirit of self-loathing/self-hatred. Afterward, we just sat there together for a while. She then said, ‘I feel really loved. And I feel peace.’ She began laughing. There were no fireworks. Nothing crazy happened. It was a simple prayer. But something happened IN her! I couldn’t believe it! Praise God!”