CONNECTION OVER BUSYNESS

CONNECTION OVER BUSYNESS

Testimony from a mom: “I have a memory of my mom in the kitchen, having her back turned against us and doing dishes. My dad, brother, and I were in the living room chatting, eating, and watching TV. I realized God was showing me a lack of connection with my mom. My mom was a busy homeowner taking care of two young kids while caring for a huge extended family. I always yearned for some time with her (later on, I learned that my love language is quality time). God showed me that He wants me to connect with my children by spending time with them. The sad truth is that I spend a lot of time cooking, cleaning, and just taking care of a family. All the chores weigh me down, and I can’t seem to find time for them. God is shining a big flashlight in my heart and my past to let me know that He wants me to put down my chores and spend time with my children (my older one’s love language is also quality time). Thank You, Jesus, for showing me this.”

5-MINUTE DATES

 Each morning, set up a date with your child. Five minutes feels like a long time for a child. They can pick whatever they want to do with your time, and they normally pick something they need from you – talk, spend time cuddling, or play a game. It is a great way to get those tanks filled and get you focused on hearing what they have to say! (Don’t tell them it is only five minutes, though). I like to make a big deal about it by saying something like, “Meet me in the living room at 2 pm today,” or “Let’s have a date, just you and me.” Love languages matter! 

FEAR, I SEE YOU

I loved receiving this testimony!!! Crawl into the world of this little boy and how his mom responded to his real heart. 

“Hi Lisa, I’m not sure you’ll get this, I know you receive a lot of messages but I just finished your JOURNEY course and had to share something that happened today. My three-year-old has been struggling in Sunday school for the last month or so. When I signed him in he immediately cried and clung to me. I told the teacher I would keep him for worship and try again in a bit. We went in and started singing and he just hugged me and snuggled through two songs. I brought it up that I would take him after singing and he started fussing again. The band started singing Jeremy Camp “Same Power” right then and it hit me – your authority lesson! I asked him if he wanted to not be afraid and then I said, ‘Fear, I see you,’ and commanded it to leave and then ushered in peace. After the song I asked if he was ready and he was a completely different kid!! He walked to the room holding my hand and didn’t look back after saying bye to me. I am embarrassed to say I’m shocked, I shouldn’t be, because this is our God, but I just can’t recall ever feeling this powerful before in my parenting. I’m just so excited to have done this class and learn things I can use to help my kids through life! Thank you, thank you!!!”

JOY!

The Kingdom of God is righteousness, peace and JOY (Romans 14:17)! If we want God’s Kingdom in our homes, it has to be one filled with JOY. Many of us have heard of the Make-A-Wish foundation where they network to provide an ill child with a JOY-filled event. But what we don’t see is that the child is hours away from a major life-threatening treatment or surgery. Statistics were showing a small percentage of children surviving life-threatening illness, so they did a study on those who survived and found only ONE difference between the two groups. Those who survived had a larger amount of a particular chemical in their brain that is only produced through JOY. When God says laughter is medicine (Proverbs 17:22), He wasn’t kidding. So, they coordinate these JOY-filled encounters for children to raise the chemicals in their brain to boost their survival rate. Joy matters! My kids and I sat down to create a list of fun things you can do to keep your children’s energy moving and carve out pockets of joy. 

Create an indoor obstacle course with pillows, chairs, and jumping over a stack of books. Put kids in the shower with a can of shaving cream. Let them paint the walls. Network with a local middle school girl to see if she can come as a mother’s helper to help entertain the kiddos (it gets her out of the house, too). Mom stays home, but the mother’s helper occupies the kiddos. Blow up balloons and play indoor volleyball – my favorite! Get an indoor exercise trampoline and let them burn off some serious energy. Buy a bunch of inflatable beach balls and kick them around – Hudson’s favorite. Do a family puzzle. Finger paint with pudding. Hide-and-Go-Seek game (you can hide forks, socks, or pens – it doesn’t have to be anything big). Flashlight tag with the lights off. Walk around the mall looking for someone who needs a smile or kindness. Extra-long baths with lots and lots of bubbles. Create an indoor movie theater with another family. Bake cookies or muffins for your neighbor. Go bowling. Have a slumber party in the living room. Network with friends and have all the boys at one house and all the girls at another. Play a round of charades. Write letters/draw pictures for the firemen. Play Pictionary. Give them $5 and ask them who they can bless, and then go do it (buy someone’s coffee, give a meal to a homeless person, buy flowers for a worker). Pop some popcorn and have a quiet reading hour. Everyone in their places, even the little ones, flipping through books. Create a mall scavenger hunt with a check-off list of things they need to find and then take a photo of them with that item (a gal with a hat, a mannequin wearing shorts, a stuffed animal, a water bottle, a necklace, etc.). We did this for Ellie’s birthday, and it was so much fun. Rotate with friends taking the kids for a day and run a mini daycare giving other moms a break and allowing kids to have extra fun peer interaction. Have you heard of Studio C? It is like Saturday Night Live, but for kids and CLEAN! Have an indoor spa with pedis, manis, facials, etc. Put on a family talent show – hilarious! Have dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dinner. Break out in a dance party – YouTube has some great ones. Skype family members and friends. Host another family for a picnic lunch in the living room. Play elimination card games to see who the winner is! 

HIS YOKE IS LIGHT

This may be my favorite feedback from a mom walking through JOURNEY, our online Kingdom Parenting class: “Your advice and pointers take the pressure off me!” When God says His yoke is light, He means in parenting too. I am passionate about helping parents create a lifestyle of partnering with Him in their parenting. 

GOD’S WAY WORKS

A mom walking through our JOURNEY class shared: “I have to tell you, I’ve been seeing positive changes and more peace in our home. The last three days, particularly in our homeschool, have been GREAT!! I have an even greater hope today that we will continue seeing more fruit in our family from remembering and practicing intimacy with Father God. Actually, I’m excited to co-parent with Holy Spirit!”

THE BACK STORY

Here is the back story of our online Kingdom parenting class. It was evident God was doing a good work in us as He taught me how to partner with Him in my parenting. He was showing up in all sorts of messy places and encountering my children. I was working on my computer when I heard the Lord say to post on FB how He had just encountered my son to bring healing. I heard it again and obeyed, feeling a little vulnerable. Instantly people started liking the post, but it wasn’t my Christian friends who liked it. It was my non-Christian friends. One comment said, “Now, that is the God I want to follow.” A few days later, I heard Him say, “Now post this” (another example of Him showing up). It became a lifestyle for us, and I would often share how God was parenting with me. One day God told me to gather 12 moms and sow into them so that they, too, could learn how to partner with Him as a lifestyle and not just an event. I invited them, and they eagerly agreed. Since they were all over the nation, I decided I would write out some of my thoughts to teach them in an online classroom format. We were all set for a given date, and in the weeks building up to it, I could not seem to get anything down. Writer’s block is a real thing. I assumed He would show me on our upcoming vacation – nope. I thought He would show me if I went away to spend time with Him – nope. I assume He would show me if I got up extra early to be focused – nope. The night before the class started, I still had NOTHING. It wasn’t that I didn’t know what to share; it was that I didn’t know how to organize it to share it clearly. I went to bed and soaked my pillow with tears. Apparently, I heard wrong about gathering these moms, and the only thing to do at this point was to come to them humbly in the morning and tell them I was wrong. I woke at 2 am, and it was like a computer download showed up in my brain. I could not turn my laptop on fast enough, and I typed for an hour straight, just releasing what was coming to my mind at record speed. I hit the send button (Lord have mercy, the spelling errors that were in that first draft) and sat there saying, “Jesus, I don’t ever want to feel that again. What do You have for Day Two of the class?” I labored ALL day long with nothing. I went to bed and cried again, assuming it was just going to be a one-day class and that I would have to wake early to tell the moms. At 2 in the morning, I woke up with my brain on fire again and raced to my computer to type as fast as possible. I told the Lord again, “I don’t ever want to feel that again. What is for Day Three?” and all day, I labored over the material, which produced nothing. I went to bed with tears… this went on for TWENTY-ONE days/nights. I never did catch on that He would be faithful to give me the message as He had done the day before. I walked those mamas through the material and assumed I would remain with them, but they had so much fruit in their parenting that their friends came to me and asked if I would mentor them, too. Easy enough now that the material was already written. And the following month, more people came again and again. Years later, God still keeps bringing people.

Here is the link to register for the class: Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly

POWER OF WORDS

In our online Kingdom parenting class, I share, “People act out what other people have spoken over them.” If this is something that you have struggled with in life and is now affecting your parenting, I encourage you break agreement with that and walk into the truth of who you are (so that you can parent from that place). 

RESOLVING HEART SPLINTERS IN CHILDHOOD

Childhood owies can turn into adult-sized wounds. Childhood lies can turn into adult strongholds. Childhood offenses can turn into adult bitterness.

The goal is to remove the owie before it becomes a life-threatening spiritual wound! I call these owies, heart splinters. Have you ever taken a splinter out of a child’s finger? You surely do not want to do it in public! They yell and scream and act like you are cutting off their finger. But once it is out, they run off and play as if nothing happened. Have you ever tried to remove a heart splinter that has been stuck for years from an adult? While they may have a smile on their face, they will protect that wounded site at all costs. Even attempting to touch it will cause pain, as the tiny splinter now has a blanket of inflammation and infection around it. Can you see the difference between how a child deals with the pain versus a grown adult? What does a child with a splinter in their heart look like? They act out, scream, bully their siblings, yell, disobey, pinch, overeat, refuse to eat, hit, kick, cause trouble with siblings, have nightmares, they retreat, slam doors, yell “I hate you,” cry, are rude, are mean and are disrespectful! This is why it is so vital to raise up parents who can discern what is going on beneath the surface of their child’s outbursts. You are the one who knows what is normal for your child. You are the one who knows when they are acting out from being hungry, tired, or when it appears “out of the blue.” You have known their cry since they were first ushered into your arms. You are the one God entrusted to listen to them. You are their mama/daddy, their advocate, their teacher and helper! Unresolved heart splinters create mental, emotional and physical isolation which is the breeding ground for the enemy to whisper lies.

A young mom texted me, desperate for some help. She began to tell me that while shopping, her daughter wanted a particular toy. It was quite expensive, and the mom said no. The daughter became so unglued that the mother had to carry her out of the store. The entire way home she was trashing the car, throwing things and screaming. When they got home, her tantrum intensified, and she drew blood from her mother’s arms while she attempted to get her up the stairs and into her room for a time out. The mom was beside herself as her daughter had never acted this badly before, and she desperately wanted to know what to do. I shared with her that there was a “heart splinter” and that we just needed to partner with Holy Spirit to discern if it was a hurt, lie or offense was so that we could remove the splinter that was causing her heart so much pain and agitation. I encouraged the mom to bring a sheet of paper and crayons to her very distraught daughter and encourage her in a very soft voice to draw what was going on (children can articulate their heart better through drawing than they can by talking). Almost immediately, the daughter calmed down and picked up a crayon. The mom was texting me while the daughter was drawing a picture about her school from SIX months ago. The mom was asking how in the world she was supposed to know what happened that long ago. I encouraged her to relax and let Holy Spirit lead her daughter to freedom. We weren’t looking for the details of an event; facts do not set us free. We were looking for the hurt, lie or offense. Holy Spirit is our HELPER, and we need to give Him room to do His job. She began to draw a picture of a day when she got in trouble for misbehaving. Most people are trained to deal with the behavior or acting out, but God looks at the heart, so we need to question WHY she was acting out. What caused the sudden change in behavior that day that was so drastic she got in trouble for it? If you want to bring your child back into alignment, you must go a wee bit deeper and not just react to the outward behavior. Even if the child doesn’t know, we can ask Jesus because He was there. The mom helped the daughter ask Jesus what was going on in her heart when she got in trouble. He wants the truth out more than we do! She then drew a picture of being at her dad’s house the night before. Her daddy failed to protect her and let her eyes see things on TV that scared her and made her feel unsafe. BINGO! So why the outburst of behavior six months later? Because there was a splinter in her heart of hurt (and fear), and when the mom said no to the toy that she really wanted, it pushed the splinter down further and it hurt. Can you guess what the daughter’s love language is? Yes, gifts. We don’t need to fuss or worry about how it all unfolds. Do we really think that the enemy plays fair and by the rules? Resist the urge to have it all make perfect sense. Just be led by the Spirit and He will show you the root cause. Now that we knew what was going on, I walked the mom through how to lead the daughter to #1. forgive her dad for not protecting her. Then they #2. asked Jesus where He was that day and then followed up with the greatest question we can ask Him in our time of distress: #3. They asked Jesus the question, “Jesus, how do You feel about me?” Nothing stomps on the enemy’s head more than finding out Jesus’ feelings about someone because His view is always full of truth, love, and life. The mom texted five minutes later saying she had her sweet daughter back.

This precious little girl was acting out the heart splinter the next day in school, and the school disciplined her for her behavior but failed to see she needed protection to feel safe again. That put her in emotional isolation, and that is where she becomes susceptible to the enemy’s lies. Picture the mom spanking, yelling, isolating, punishing, and disciplining the child into obedience. Was that ever really the issue? Would heaven do that to us when we are afraid or feel unsafe? We treat children like they are in blatant sin and punish them when what they really need is HELP! There is a time and place for corrective discipline, but when we use it at the wrong time, it can push the splinter in even deeper. Do not partner with condemnation after reading this. We have all done it, and it has been done to us many times. The point isn’t to pass blame; the point is to praise God for bringing us into a deeper revelation that there is a better way. This is the epitome of what Let the Children Fly is all about. I am passionate about empowering parents to help their children with real tools to resolve these heart splinters IN childhood!

I encourage you to come and get the tools you need to be empowered, equipped and trained further in your parenting JOURNEY. Sign up here: Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly

PEACE IS MY GUIDE

I have a rule in my house – if I cannot participate in something and remain in peace, then I will not do it. As a result, I have had to say no, or decline many good things. I have made the choice not to allow even some good things to rob me of my peace or connection with my children.