COMPASSION

COMPASSION

God speaks, heals, and saves out of COMPASSION! Children need to be intentionally taught the character trait of compassion. When they see something ‘bad’ or ‘ugly,’ purposely talk to them about how you can seek to see underneath it and what God wants you to do to call out the GOOD and value in them. Compassion is the heart of the Father.

To that girl you called a slut in class today. She’s a virgin. The pregnant girl walking down the street. She got raped. The boy you called lame. He has to work every night to support his family. That girl you pushed down the other day. She’s already being abused at home. That girl you called fat. She’s starving herself. That old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars. He fought for our country. The boy you made fun of for crying. His mother is dying. You think you know them. Guess what? You don’t! Your actions affect those around you.

INTERRUPTING

How many of us get annoyed when we speak to our children, and they don’t listen because they are engaged elsewhere (book, TV, homework, screen time, etc.)? How many of you get annoyed when you are in the middle of something (book, TV, housework, screen time, etc.), and your kids interrupt you as if you aren’t doing anything? Hmmm… maybe we are actually teaching our children to interrupt by what we are modeling for them. We think just because we are adults, we can crash into their world at any time and expect them to instantly stop what they are doing and give us their full attention. While that would be awesome, that isn’t reality. Perhaps we should be modeling for our children how we would appreciate and value them interrupting us when we are in the middle of something, and they need our attention. I have taught my kids that when they need me, but see I am in the middle of something, to come and place their hand on my arm. I place my other hand on top of theirs to say, “I see you,” and they need to wait until I can switch my attention to them. When they got older, I showed them how to say, “Excuse me, Mom, is this a good time to interrupt you?” If I am engaged with another person (on the phone or in person), and the kids would not show honor, I would say, “Excuse me for a moment,” to the person and then say to my children, “You are so important, but I am important too, and right now Mama is talking to Ms. Smith.” This is a people skill that children need to be taught, trained, and equipped in with intentional parenting. Nothing welcomes favor more than honor and respect!

BIG MESSES

I would rather have my children make a big mess, even in front of others, and learn from it than model perfect outward behavior in front of others and have a deceitful heart that is cruel and lacking in self-control. I would rather have them get an F on an assignment and learn from their mistakes than be on the Honor Roll and walk-in entitlement or manipulation. Childhood is not the time to expect perfection but give them the skills and tools to live successful adult lives.

TRANSFORMATION NOT INFORMATION

Many of you are aware that the heartbeat of Let the Children Fly is to better equip parents for their parenting journey. We are mind, body, and spirit. While all matter, we go after parenting in the spiritual realm and empower parents to partner with their child’s Creator. We do not want you to simply get some additional information. We want you transformed! We do not want you to come once. We want to partner with you for the next 18 years! We do not want you to model your family after others. We want you to find the unique rhythm and call on your family. We do not want to tell you all the answers. We want to usher you to the One who knows it all.

CAN I HOLD YOU?

My friend told me about a story with her son, and I think it is GLORIOUS. Her adopted son had a rough year with his dad moving out and his big sister moving away. He recently spent time at his dad’s house while his parents were in town. The young boy returned to his mom’s house and was OUT OF CONTROL! Yelling, kicking, hitting, screaming – unglued. She shared how she normally would have exercised some serious authority over his behavior and would have dealt firmly with him for his outburst. But she could see he was hurting and said, “Buddy, can Mommy hold you for a moment?” He was hesitant but eventually came to her, put his face in her neck, and just wept. He woke up the next morning back to himself again. There is a time and place to discipline a child for negative behavior, and there is a time and place to partner with Holy Spirit and move in the opposite spirit. This boy was simply trying to express the BIG emotions going on inside of his heart. He needed the security of a mother’s love, and whatever was causing his heart so much agitation was released through her affection.

FATHER KNOWS BEST

Hudson likes to wear his sports pants every single day! He walked out of his room with them on AGAIN, and I told him he needed to dress nicer. As he walked away deflated, I heard God say, “Let it go!” I called him back and shared how his Father defended him and apologized. We hugged, and all was fine. He came to breakfast with a whole new outfit on. A tear rolled down my face as I realized that he was motivated by the Father’s love (not my expectations).

DESENSITIZING

No man can do the things that terrorists do without intentional grooming. They are so DE-sensitized to the brutality that the real thing no longer upsets them. They have been exposed to such darkness, most likely from a very early age. It is awful what is happening in the world through them, but what is brewing so deep within me is that God is STILL bigger. He STILL sits on His throne and hasn’t budged. God is STILL the Alpha and Omega. The enemy knows that equipping children at a young age is the best weapon they have as they will grow up being mighty weapons of mass destruction. But do WE know that? Do we get how powerful it is when children are given spiritual tools at a young age? Do we really have more fear than faith? Do we not see the importance of raising up an army of children who know how to hear His voice and act accordingly? It is like the enemy says, “Boo!” and we all jump in fear. NO! We WILL do our part to teach, train, and equip our children to be the warriors in the world God has called them to be. It is our job. We are the generals in God’s army, and the family is our training ground. My intent is not to instill fear or partner with that ugly religious spirit but to share that something so deep and so wildly violent is bubbling within me. I want more! I want more families to be intentional about their children! I want YOU to embrace all that God has for you and your family. I burn for more. I yearn that we, the Bride, all of us, would know that there is NO weapon formed against us that shall prosper but that WE will march forth and walk in victory because God Himself is leading us. I want your connection with your children to remain intact so that they are spared from the countless years of agony we endured. I want for them to know how amazing and powerful they are because you speak it over them daily. I want them to know, like second nature, how to go to Papa God and discuss the burdens of their heart with Him directly. Ah, that the children would be trained and equipped by intentional parents who do not partner with feelings of inadequacy but know themselves who they are. Oh, I burn for this. Yes, the enemy is doing many un-fun things in our world right now but let them wait and see what this generation is about to do. They will rise up and flip atmospheres; they will say NO with ease to the false comforts of the world. They will hinder the pornography, alcohol, and drug markets simply because they have no need for it. They will walk in confidence and assurance. They will honor adults for the wisdom they possess and seek their counsel. They will discern the fear for what it is and laugh at it. They will grab hold of the hurts, lies, and offenses and apply the tools they have been taught to work through them, so they don’t become adult-sized woundedness. They will walk into the darkest of situations and turn on the LIGHT! They will praise where there is weeping, and they will heal where there is sickness. They will love where there is brokenness. They will hold their places, and all of heaven will back them up. Your labor in equipping your children is not unseen. Ask Jesus to show you what it means to Him! I believe in you and am so honored that we get to link arms one family at a time! 

THANK YOU, JESUS

A mom shared: “Thank you for your incredible heart and practical tools. It has transformed my parenting and what has been happening in my home continually brings me to tears of thankfulness and wonder. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU. We are so blessed by your ministry, and your life lived out.”

CHARACTER IS KINGDOM

It is very difficult for a child to release the Kingdom at the store if they are on the floor pitching a fit because you did not buy them a toy. They will have a harder time hearing God’s voice if they haven’t been taught to listen to yours first. You will have a greater challenge getting them to be ‘others’ focused if they have been taught that they are the only ones that matter. Character matters!

I MISS MY DAD

Years ago, Hudson was playing with his Legos in his room, and one by one, his sisters joined in the fun. There was so much joy breaking out in his room that I stopped doing my work to join them. I laid on his bed while they all played together, and it was heaven. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, Hudson began kicking everyone out of his room. I called him up on the bed and asked what was going on. He wasn’t sure but felt overwhelmed that he had had a sudden flip-of-the-switch in his emotions. I asked if he wanted Jesus to shine His flashlight in his heart to show him what was going on, and he did. The tears began to flow, and he said, “I miss my dad.” All of the fun with Legos with not just one but four other girls triggered that he missed his dad. We were able to walk through forgiving his dad for not being there and asked Jesus how He felt about him. The saddest part of the story is that in the past, I would have normally disciplined him for his outburst against his sisters because he WAS rude, mean, and disrespectful! But his outward outburst was NOT the real issue. His heart was hurting. Do we really want to shut down, spank, time out, and discipline our children when they are grieving their dad? Do they need to grow in maturity with how to handle the hurt? YES! That is called growing up. But we are missing the mark when we place obeying perfectly over connecting with their hearts!

I am asked often with this testimony if I went back and disciplined him for being so rude. NO, not at all. His flesh was immature in getting his hurt out, but once the real issue was resolved, there was no need for discipline. AS discipline isn’t punishment (an eye for an eye) but TO GET to the heart, which God so clearly did. I did ask him to go back and apologize to his sisters for being rude, and it was easy for him to do as he KNEW he was wrong and could do it with ease since his heart was fully seen and heard. Then as a family, we talked about what just happened. Everyone was filled with compassion and kindness for him, and connection was deepened. There is a time for discipline, of course, but the goal should always be to get their heart (otherwise, it is nothing more than legalism, which focuses on outward performance). 

OLD OPERATING SYSTEMS

I get messages daily from parents sharing challenging and painful experiences with their children. They are overwhelmed and need help. My heart goes out to them and only fuels my passion for empowering parents. But here’s the truth – something isn’t a quick ‘try this, and it will work.’ There is a family dynamic and lifestyle that needs to come into alignment. The old ones aren’t working. That doesn’t mean God doesn’t have a solution. It means you haven’t discovered it yet. That is exactly how I help parents through the online Kingdom parenting class. It isn’t intellectual teaching, but rather together, we walk through the process of going deeper in your parenting journey to impact the generations.