CLOSING THE SEXUAL DOOR

CLOSING THE SEXUAL DOOR

  • Authority, Sexual Safety

CLOSING THE SEXUAL DOOR

This is a follow-up to my recent post about pornography.

I am getting messages from parents who are confessing this has been a real battle in their home, and they are bringing it into the light and dealing with it but want to know how to close the door for their children. These are great questions and need to be addressed.

“What do you mean ‘open/close the door’?” The Bible tells us not to give the enemy a foothold (Ephesians 4:27). We open the door to him when we have patterns of sin. When the door is open, he now has a legal right to influence, and we know he operates with the goal of stealing, killing, and destroying.

“How can my choices affect my children even if they were never directly exposed to pornography or sexual sin?” While these things are done naturally, there are spirits attached to sex in any form outside of God’s design. When parents are involved in sexual sin, it opens the door for those spirits in the home. Susie doesn’t need to see anything with her eyes in order to be affected by the spirit that was allowed in. Oftentimes for girls, this doesn’t translate into sexual behavior but a profound sense of shame and an attack on her identity as a female. Fathers are to be the covering over the home, and when the door is open, children often feel a sense of lack of security and unprotected. Mothers are to be the sense of comfort and nurture, and children often feel a lack of attachment or connection when the door is opened.

“What is so damaging to children about pornography and sexual sin?” Sex is good – by God’s design. The enemy takes what is pure and righteous and uses it as a weapon to steal, kill, and destroy. The main targets are a child’s gender/sexual identity, sense of worth/value, and protection.

“How do I close the door?” Two things must be done in response to sexual sin – repentance and authority. Repent means admitting your wrongdoing and turning the other direction. I realize sexual sin creates a powerful stronghold for many and can be a journey of getting free, but we can’t ever let sin communicate to us that we have expired Jesus’s blood. If you fall 100 times, there are 101 drops of blood for you. The second is realizing that the behavior attracts and invites the wrong spirits into your home and using your authority to close the door. “Jesus, I confess that I have _____. Do You forgive me?” Don’t just ask for it, receive it.

Once the blood of Jesus covers you (forgiveness), you can operate in your authority. “Sexual spirits, I see you, and you are not welcome in my home. I am forgiven for my sins, and it is by the same blood that I command you to go now. I close the door to you and forbid you from entering this home again. I will not give in to your temptation. You are no longer welcome here and are forbidden from speaking to me.”

Pray over your children specifically. “You may not speak to (child’s name) eyes and the things they see. You may not influence their thoughts and the things they think. You may not influence the words they speak or the words they speak to themselves. I command you to leave this house now in Jesus’ name.”

The Bible says whenever you tell the bad to go, you need to invite the good to come. “Holy Spirit, I invite You to come and fill (child’s name) with Your love, power, and peace over their mind, identity, and relationships. I invite You to stand guard over them and protect them fiercely. Fill them with Your truth and lead them into healthy, vibrant friendships that honor You.”

As the head of your household, declare what your house stands for. “As the head of this house, I decree and declare that this is a home of peace, growth, and love. We operate out of life-giving heart connections. We stand for truth, honor, and purity.”

We are forgiven for our sins and walk in His light.

YOU ARE EXPOSED

We, as believers, must take this one step further than just boycotting sexual things like movies, toys, games, etc. We must walk as spiritual governors and rulers and take authority over the spirit behind it. How? 

“Sexual spirits, I see you. You are exposed. I command you to go and declare the name and blood of Jesus defeats you. I invite Holy Spirit to continue to expose and reveal this spirit in our homes, cities, and government. I cover (child’s name) from being introduced to and influenced by this spirit and pray for peace, purity, and protection over their mind, body, and heart in Jesus’ name.” 

We have been given dominion over this rampant spirit, but our job is to exercise our God-given, Jesus-paid-for authority. We also have the privilege and honor of ushering in the Kingdom to invade the heart and mind of every person associated with it.

DO NOT ABDICATE YOUR THRONE

 In January 1936, the King of England died. Following royal protocol, his eldest son assumed the throne, becoming King Edward the Eighth. But in December of that same year, only months into his reign, King Edward stunned the nation when he formally abdicated the country’s throne and the many benefits of royalty. What is especially alarming is the phrasing of the official decree, which ended in these haunting words: “I, Edward the Eighth … renounce the Throne for Myself and for My descendants.” Imagine. With one stroke of the pen, this man sealed his fate and the fate of his children and grandchildren for generations into the future.

As parents, we, too, occupy a throne in the sense that God has given us a position of authority in our kids’ lives. We mustn’t renounce that influence. Children don’t need us to be their friends – someone telling them what they want to hear. They need a parent – an authority figure willing to speak the truth into their lives. Of course, we should listen to our children and consider their views carefully, but our kids should not be allowed to run the home. That’s our God-given responsibility. So, take the lesson of King Edward to heart. Abdicating your authority could risk your kids’ future for generations to come. 

RISING HIGHER

The more you become a Son/Daughter, the more conflict you will have in areas that did not phase you before. It isn’t that you are getting ‘worse’; it is that God is teaching you who you are, and with that comes an intolerance for the things that oppose your identity and calling. This is where we need to rise up in our authority over the things that once influenced us, but that are now defeated under His foot in our lives.

SPIRITUAL AUTHORITY

When my kids come home with stories about how someone was unkind, rude, or disrespectful, we walk through forgiveness and then release the opposite back to them in the spiritual realm. You can’t be a victim when you are partnering with the Creator of the universe.

Homework – Call a family meeting and ask your children what would happen if you walked into the middle of a busy street and held up your hand. Nothing would probably happen. Next, ask what would happen if a police officer walked in the middle of a busy street and put up his hand. Because of his badge, he has authority. Not only that, but all of the courts back him up. We get to be police officers in the spiritual realm because of the badge of Jesus, and all of heaven backs us up. We get to tie up the bad and then unleash all the good stuff. 

STOP TRIMMING THE HEDGE!

I had an encounter with Jesus, where He showed me a wall. I could not for the life of me discern whether this was a good or negative wall. Was it keeping things in or preventing something from going in? The lack of clarity perplexed me. I heard Jesus say the wall needed to come down, so I asked what tool I should use (because even in the natural, anytime you remove something, you use a specific tool based on the wall). I saw a hedge trimmer that was so logical and obvious, but it felt wrong. I asked again and saw the trimmers, yet this overwhelming feeling of ‘this isn’t right’ came over me.

The kids were all splashing in the pool when I got on my raft and asked them to give me a moment so I could continue to process this revelation with the Lord. I needed greater clarity, but I KNEW He was showing me something. Something caught my eye, and finally, I removed my sunglasses and sat on my raft to look. He was highlighting the shrub hedge on the other side of the pool when I heard Him say, “Lisa, if your job was to remove that hedge (wall), would you use a hedge trimmer?” No way, it would not only take forever, but every time I would trim it down, the branches would grow back as pruning is a form of growth. I would wrap a chain around the base and yank it out with my car roots and all. BINGO!

God was showing me that I was laboring (well, I might add) to trim the hedge (wall) when He was actually calling me to YANK IT OUT BY THE ROOT. Oh, the flood of fruit that came with this revelation. What if we REBUKED the spirit of strife behind it instead of just resolving conflict? What if instead of feeling drained, we sat in His PRESENCE to be refreshed? What if instead of battling fear, we used our AUTHORITY against it? What if instead of coming under intimidation, we DECLARED 2 Timothy 1:7 (and believed it)? What if instead of shadowboxing the enemy, we WORSHIPED the Lord? What if, instead of feeling dread every morning, we spoke to the spirit behind it and commanded it to FLEE? What if instead of taking aspirin daily for the pain, we HEALED the body? What if instead of managing attitudes, we ENCOUNTERED the Father’s love? What if instead of stewarding the lack of peace, we COMMANDED the chaos to flee? What if instead of continually disciplining a child, we TAUGHT them who they are in Christ?

You do not always have to deal with the ‘fruit’ of new branches. God has given us tools and power in Jesus’ name to deal with the root and have it removed. What about you? What negative cycle do you repeat over and over in your home? Are you continually trimming the branches? Is it time to YANK IT OUT once and for all?

FEELING AFRAID?

Are you feeling afraid of something? STOP! Turn around, face the fear and use the sword of the Word! Declare over your fear, “So we can say with confidence, the LORD is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6). “So, with Him on my side, I’m fearless, afraid of no one and nothing.” (Psalms 27:1 – MSG). Fear is not to be managed. It is to be dealt with using the Word of God and the authority Christ has given you.

SHADRACH, MESHACH, AND ABEDNEGO

God ministered so deeply to my heart over an event that left some residue that needed some attention. My heart had forgiven, my soul was at peace, and my mind was clear, but there was something deep inside of me that wanted to play it safe. I was talking about it with my mentor, and as a good mentor does, she asked the right question, which led to a pocket of tears. She asked if I needed to ask God something, and I wanted to know why He left me in the fire for so long. I honestly thought at the time that I was being taken out and was not sure I would rise again. If I had to give a word picture, it felt like driving down the road and, out of nowhere, encountering a mob of 50 men with clubs and baseball bats. The spiritual warfare was something that I had never experienced before. I instantly got a picture of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, and my mind wandered off of the story. Do we think they came out of the furnace celebrating? Cheering? High fiving? I am not sure. They were being put to death for not bowing down to the king’s operating system of worship. They stood their ground, and it was going to cost them their lives. They did not go through the fire knowing Jesus was going to walk with them and keep them safe and that their testimony would go down in the Word of God for all generations to see. They went into it willing to die for their convictions. It was a traumatic experience. They endured the fire with their mind, their body, and their spirit. I think they came out weeping over the heat of the furnace, seeing the face of death and the reality that if God didn’t show up, it would have killed them. My mentor felt led to break off a spirit of trauma that was lingering over the event. A spirit of trauma likes to attach itself to real events, but once the event is over, it creates fear or unrest that it will happen again, so the believer shrinks back and plays it safe. If you have endured an “If-God-doesn’t-show-up-I-am-going-to-die” testimony and sense there is greater freedom from the events, ask Jesus to show you if a spirit of trauma needs to be dealt with.

DISCERN FIRST

When we get overwhelmed with feelings out of nowhere, we have to stop partnering with “What’s wrong with me?” and begin to ask, “Lord, why am I feeling this? How do You want to use me right now?” We feel things in the atmosphere so that we can do something about it.

First – identify what you feel: fear, anger, worry, dread, etc.

Second – ask, “Jesus, what do You want me to do about this?”

Third, pray accordingly.

DO NOT SPEAK TO ME

How would you feel if you walked into a room and saw your child talking to a demon? It would be most upsetting. Say you asked your child why they were talking to them, and they said, “Oh, they came into my room and wanted to chat.” Mama bear would rise up within me to teach them they do not need to enter conversation but can walk away! And yet God watches His children dialogue with shame, fear, and condemnation all the time. These are three voices that we should never entertain, reason with, or enter a discussion with. Ask God to give you increased discernment when you are engaging with the wrong voices.