CHAOS TO PEACE

CHAOS TO PEACE

A mom wrote to share this: “I was having an epic bedtime battle tonight that ended in soaking and peace.”

How did she go from chaos to peace? She applied the tools I share in JOURNEY, our online Kingdom parenting class. If your home reflects more chaos than peace, consider joining our class and learning the tools for yourself.

You can register here: Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly

READJUST AFTER SCHOOL

Want to help your child reset after coming home from school? Give them an intentional few minutes of just being still in God’s presence. I would have a snack prepared for them and tell them to grab a corner of the living room and enjoy their snack while just lying quietly. Sometimes all it took was five minutes, and you could feel a shift in the atmosphere.

Do you have teens who resist spiritual things? No problem. YOU soak and fill the atmosphere of your home with His presence before they come home. When they walk through the door, they won’t be able to help but feel His presence.

RESOLVING HEART SPLINTERS IN CHILDHOOD

Childhood owies can turn into adult-sized wounds. Childhood lies can turn into adult strongholds. Childhood offenses can turn into adult bitterness.

The goal is to remove the owie before it becomes a life-threatening spiritual wound! I call these owies, heart splinters. Have you ever taken a splinter out of a child’s finger? You surely do not want to do it in public! They yell and scream and act like you are cutting off their finger. But once it is out, they run off and play as if nothing happened. Have you ever tried to remove a heart splinter that has been stuck for years from an adult? While they may have a smile on their face, they will protect that wounded site at all costs. Even attempting to touch it will cause pain, as the tiny splinter now has a blanket of inflammation and infection around it. Can you see the difference between how a child deals with the pain versus a grown adult? What does a child with a splinter in their heart look like? They act out, scream, bully their siblings, yell, disobey, pinch, overeat, refuse to eat, hit, kick, cause trouble with siblings, have nightmares, they retreat, slam doors, yell “I hate you,” cry, are rude, are mean and are disrespectful! This is why it is so vital to raise up parents who can discern what is going on beneath the surface of their child’s outbursts. You are the one who knows what is normal for your child. You are the one who knows when they are acting out from being hungry, tired, or when it appears “out of the blue.” You have known their cry since they were first ushered into your arms. You are the one God entrusted to listen to them. You are their mama/daddy, their advocate, their teacher and helper! Unresolved heart splinters create mental, emotional and physical isolation which is the breeding ground for the enemy to whisper lies.

A young mom texted me, desperate for some help. She began to tell me that while shopping, her daughter wanted a particular toy. It was quite expensive, and the mom said no. The daughter became so unglued that the mother had to carry her out of the store. The entire way home she was trashing the car, throwing things and screaming. When they got home, her tantrum intensified, and she drew blood from her mother’s arms while she attempted to get her up the stairs and into her room for a time out. The mom was beside herself as her daughter had never acted this badly before, and she desperately wanted to know what to do. I shared with her that there was a “heart splinter” and that we just needed to partner with Holy Spirit to discern if it was a hurt, lie or offense was so that we could remove the splinter that was causing her heart so much pain and agitation. I encouraged the mom to bring a sheet of paper and crayons to her very distraught daughter and encourage her in a very soft voice to draw what was going on (children can articulate their heart better through drawing than they can by talking). Almost immediately, the daughter calmed down and picked up a crayon. The mom was texting me while the daughter was drawing a picture about her school from SIX months ago. The mom was asking how in the world she was supposed to know what happened that long ago. I encouraged her to relax and let Holy Spirit lead her daughter to freedom. We weren’t looking for the details of an event; facts do not set us free. We were looking for the hurt, lie or offense. Holy Spirit is our HELPER, and we need to give Him room to do His job. She began to draw a picture of a day when she got in trouble for misbehaving. Most people are trained to deal with the behavior or acting out, but God looks at the heart, so we need to question WHY she was acting out. What caused the sudden change in behavior that day that was so drastic she got in trouble for it? If you want to bring your child back into alignment, you must go a wee bit deeper and not just react to the outward behavior. Even if the child doesn’t know, we can ask Jesus because He was there. The mom helped the daughter ask Jesus what was going on in her heart when she got in trouble. He wants the truth out more than we do! She then drew a picture of being at her dad’s house the night before. Her daddy failed to protect her and let her eyes see things on TV that scared her and made her feel unsafe. BINGO! So why the outburst of behavior six months later? Because there was a splinter in her heart of hurt (and fear), and when the mom said no to the toy that she really wanted, it pushed the splinter down further and it hurt. Can you guess what the daughter’s love language is? Yes, gifts. We don’t need to fuss or worry about how it all unfolds. Do we really think that the enemy plays fair and by the rules? Resist the urge to have it all make perfect sense. Just be led by the Spirit and He will show you the root cause. Now that we knew what was going on, I walked the mom through how to lead the daughter to #1. forgive her dad for not protecting her. Then they #2. asked Jesus where He was that day and then followed up with the greatest question we can ask Him in our time of distress: #3. They asked Jesus the question, “Jesus, how do You feel about me?” Nothing stomps on the enemy’s head more than finding out Jesus’ feelings about someone because His view is always full of truth, love, and life. The mom texted five minutes later saying she had her sweet daughter back.

This precious little girl was acting out the heart splinter the next day in school, and the school disciplined her for her behavior but failed to see she needed protection to feel safe again. That put her in emotional isolation, and that is where she becomes susceptible to the enemy’s lies. Picture the mom spanking, yelling, isolating, punishing, and disciplining the child into obedience. Was that ever really the issue? Would heaven do that to us when we are afraid or feel unsafe? We treat children like they are in blatant sin and punish them when what they really need is HELP! There is a time and place for corrective discipline, but when we use it at the wrong time, it can push the splinter in even deeper. Do not partner with condemnation after reading this. We have all done it, and it has been done to us many times. The point isn’t to pass blame; the point is to praise God for bringing us into a deeper revelation that there is a better way. This is the epitome of what Let the Children Fly is all about. I am passionate about empowering parents to help their children with real tools to resolve these heart splinters IN childhood!

I encourage you to come and get the tools you need to be empowered, equipped and trained further in your parenting JOURNEY. Sign up here: Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly

WEEPING FATHER

I will never forget the father who took our online Kingdom parenting class and wrote to me weeping as he told me how all these years, his daughter had annoyed him with her constant chatter. Holy Spirit revealed to him that that was her way of trying to connect with him and her love language. He was weeping for all the times he had become annoyed with her and told her to be quiet. He never saw her heart until that day, and it broke him. Love languages matter!

JOURNEY CLASS

“This course has really helped me recognize my behaviors and start to understand the why behind them. I’ve become more aware of how I’m saying things to my kids. We have been talking much more openly and more often about God. I’m excited to continue to use the tools I’ve learned. We have been practicing soaking, and I hope to keep that a part of our weekly routine. It’s amazing the conversations we’ve been having! Thank you. I’ve been able to identify the root of so many issues. Change and healing have already started happening simply because it has been brought into the light. I so appreciate all of the practical steps you offered.”

TRANSFORMATION NOT INFORMATION

Many of you are aware that the heartbeat of Let the Children Fly is to better equip parents for their parenting journey. We are mind, body, and spirit. While all matter, we go after parenting in the spiritual realm and empower parents to partner with their child’s Creator. We do not want you to simply get some additional information. We want you transformed! We do not want you to come once. We want to partner with you for the next 18 years! We do not want you to model your family after others. We want you to find the unique rhythm and call on your family. We do not want to tell you all the answers. We want to usher you to the One who knows it all.

LOVE IS A VERB

I was teaching parents about identity and how to call it out in children. This is a testimony from a father in the class. Why not give it a try yourself and allow your children to be a source of rich encouragement to those around them?

“Today, I used these ideas to have my girls express love to their cousin by writing encouragement cards with statements or Scriptures and leaving them hidden in various parts of her room. I asked the girls to listen to hear from God what He wanted their cousin to know or be encouraged.”

MODEL HIS LOVE

My friend said it beautifully: “God showed me that the purpose of my parenting is not to turn my children into models (in whichever field), but for me to model His love to them. After that, the rest will fall into place automatically.”

VARIETY OF SEASONS

Some parents are in crisis with their children and are desperate for new tools, while others are simply hungry for more. Some come from generations of strong believers; others are brand new to the faith. Some have teenagers or grown children; others have wee ones. There is a place for YOU. Your family is worth it. YOU are worth it. 

You can register here: Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly

CONNECTION

On the second day of our online Kingdom parenting class, we talk about CONNECTION. I asked if their parents saw the value in them. There are always two camps. Those who were raised in dysfunctional homes and those whose parents tucked them in at night, took them to Disney, showered them with love and attention, provided for them, and enjoyed them. But there was always a BUT… Since I was in the first camp, this bothered me. Whenever day two would come around, I KNEW what the answers would be, and I would brace myself. Seriously, how can you have a “BUT…” when your parents were there for you, loved you, and were involved in your world? That is until Jesus spoke. He told me that I was becoming judgmental of those who claimed to have a great childhood and still confessed something was missing. Because it was HIM who put that void there. NO child is wired to be 100% filled by their mom and dad. There are some places in our hearts that are reserved for Him. This is great news. If Jesus is ultimately who our children need to be connected with in order to be whole, then maybe 18 years of parenting is less about us and should be more about Him! Even if you were perfect, it would not be enough, so let’s stop trying (and feeling guilty about it when we are not) and usher our children to the only perfect Parent.

GET EQUIPPED

In the JOURNEY online class, you will gain insight, revelation, keys, and activities along the way to empower you as a parent while equipping your children. This is not an intellectual course, but rather a month filled with transformation for your family.

You can register here: Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly