C-19

C-19

  • Activities/Teachings, Fear

C-19

Take authority over your home and USE THIS to empower your children of all ages. Let me walk you through HOW. The truth is there is sickness going around – always has been – always will be – as we live in a fallen world. Only heaven is sickness free. How you respond to this issue will shape your children when facing future crises. Are you modeling fear and worry or teaching them how to walk in authority full of faith? Either you are partnering with life or death.

Gather the children and talk about C-19. Trust me, if they go to school or own a computer, they have heard about it. We want to explain to them that what makes this virus (use the word ‘cold’ as they understand that better than ‘virus’) different is that it is new to doctors and scientists. Give them an explanation for the fear that is attached to the virus. Cancer, tooth pain, backaches, and tuberculosis all caused the same worry years ago because people were battling things in their bodies, and the doctors did not know how to help them. But over time, God gave the doctors and scientists wisdom in how to help the body through medicine.

Spend time praying as a family for God to give doctors and scientists strategies and solutions to help people! Make a list of how medicine, doctors, dentists, chiropractors, and vitamins have already helped your family. Spend time thanking God for each one of them. Flip your worry to praise.

Declare over your home that the virus is not allowed! Declare that the virus is not welcome in your city! Declare that the virus is not welcome in your country! Pray for a wall of protection against you and any person who is sick! Declare, “Fear, you are a liar, and do not lead me. God does!”

Be wise in taking care of the body given to you by drinking an increased amount of water, consuming less sugar, and getting more rest. This helps your body to become stronger and fight off viruses. Take a family field trip down to the bathroom and practice what it means to wash your hands well (I am being serious). Talk about why it is important to keep hands away from their nose and mouth (and wash often). Talk about facts vs. truth.

FACTS: a virus is unknown to doctors, and they aren’t sure what to do, the virus is making people sick, and the virus feels scary.

TRUTH: God is not surprised by the virus, God is still in control, God can keep me safe, God has a plan, and God comforts me in my unrest.

We want to acknowledge facts but camp out in the TRUTH. Be sensitive to when fear is knocking – both for you and your child. When it comes, do not be chased by fear, but STOP, TURN and FACE the fear. First, identify what the fear is about. Afraid God isn’t in control? Can’t God keep your family safe? Something terrible is going to happen? You will suffer? You won’t be able to protect your children? Identify it and then ASK JESUS for His truth. Release what He told you like a bold statement of truth and hope to those around you. This is how we rise up and become the light in the midst of darkness. Open your mouth in the declaration and speak HIS TRUTH over the situation.

CHARACTER TRAIT: OBEY FULLY AND COMPLETELY

CHARACTER TRAIT: Obey/submit to authority the first time, joyfully and without arguing.

WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE IF NOT TAUGHT: Kids that need coaxing or tricks to get them to obey. Challenge for learning environments. It makes children feel insecure when they call all of the shots.

WAYS TO INSTILL THIS INTO A CHILD’S HEART: When you give a command, instruct them to reply with, “Ok, Mom/Dad.” This helps them get the command in their heart and are much less tempted to disobey when they have already agreed to it – a simple but effective tool. Read the story of Naaman or Jonah – Proverbs 12:1, Hebrews 12:11, and Hebrews 13:17.

I SAID NO TO FEAR

When my daughter was in first grade, she came home and said it was the worst day ever. She said the substitute teacher yelled at the class with a red face most of the day. I felt fear as she shared with me how the adult handled situations and asked her with the utmost compassion, “Oh honey, did you feel fear when she did that?” She wrinkled up her face and shook her head, saying, “NO! I wouldn’t let it!” She knew the fear wasn’t from her Father and how to take out her badge of authority and use it.

Kids don’t need to put up with everything that is handed to them in the spiritual realm. When my kids come home with stories about someone being unkind, rude, or disrespectful, we walk through forgiveness and then release the opposite back to them in the spiritual realm. You can’t be a victim when you are partnering with the Creator of the universe. 

TRUTH STATEMENTS

When we neglect to call out who our children are, the world will step up and do it for us. However, the world’s truth is often different from ours. Calling out a child’s identity isn’t about what they do, such as, “You are the best soccer player,” or “You always get A’s,” but more so about who they are, “You are patient,” “You are kind,” “You are worthy,” “You are capable.’” Calling this forth sets them up for taking on the world and the challenges set before them. The first increases pride as it focuses on their performance. The latter increases their identity as it focuses on Christ in them. Don’t we want our children to walk out the door overflowing with the confidence of who God made them to be? It isn’t about systems or hard labor but about keeping His presence through peace. Running a household is hard work, yet many hands make the work light. The smallest of hands can feel good about themselves for successfully managing things.

1ST, 2ND, 3RD CHAIR

This concept has been so helpful to me as I have helped my children navigate friendships over the years. Line up four chairs and have your child sit on an end. You sit in the chair furthest from them and explain how anyone they meet is a 3rd chair friend. You might say “hi” or ask how they are doing, but they remain far away from your heart. Move to the next chair and explain this is a 2nd chair friend. You might say “hi” and sit with them at lunch, laugh with them in class, or even hang out at the mall together. You have fun with them and enjoy being around them. But your 1st chair is the one closest to you. These people know you at your worst and best and everything in between. They make you laugh hard and have the power to influence you. No one starts in the 1st chair. They have to be invited in, and it is cultivated over time. Over the years, we have seen this played out as friends change chairs. When they come home excited about someone they have met, we celebrate the connection, but I am aware that there is a process of connection developing and asking questions along the way.

Emma came home excited one day about a new ‘best friend.’ They had fun together and giggled hard. But over time, the friend began to invite Emma to do things that went against what we stood for as a family. She had to learn she could surely still giggle and be friends with this gal but pulling her into her 1st chair would not go well with her down the road. Lauren had a friend who would love her one minute and be so cruel the next. It was a love/hate response; she never knew which one she was getting. The ‘love’ felt so fulfilling and fun that she had difficulty seeing the flip as bad. Because she was learning how to build healthy relationships, I had to help her see that this is not how 1st chair friends treat each other. It was so painful for her to back off the relationship, but years later, she still comments on how glad she was that she could create room for other friends who were indeed 1st chair worthy. I often say, “Either you influence them, or they influence you, so you better make sure you are heading in the same direction.” I have no problems with my children being friends with unbelievers (how else are we going to impact those around us?) or with children from different beliefs and backgrounds. I DO have a problem if those children become 1st chairs. How do you switch chairs? By how much or little you feed it. Help your child pull in new friends closer by inviting them over to join your family for dinner, creating a fun outing, helping them with their homework, asking them how their day went, tell them something they like or appreciate about them. Support the things they like to do, attend their sports games, text to compliment them, and invite them over just for fun. It is impossible to have a 1st chair and only do this once. Building closer friendships take intentionality, consistency, and frequency. If a child has pulled someone in too far too fast before discerning that the connection is not healthy, simply stop feeding the relationship, and it will not grow. I encourage them to sit by the person at their lunch table, say “hi,” and always communicate with the message that they are valuable. But do not invite them to connect deeper or 1:1. If they are invited somewhere, they say they are busy, or their mom says NO. I do not want to empower my children how to reject, hurt, or create a wound in someone so how they navigate their chairs matters. Pull out the chairs and teach your children today about their 1st, 2nd, and 3rd chair friendships.

GODHEAD PARENTING

Once you learn the incredible ways earthly relationships can impact or distort a child’s view of the godhead (God, Jesus, Holy Spirit), it changes the way, you parent. I am constantly looking for ways to reveal to them the reality of who God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit really are. There have been times when I have not modeled it well and have responded harshly or with impatience. When I go back to make it right, I will say, “Holy Spirit is never harsh or impatient with you, and I am sorry that I treated you that way.” One of the most helpful things you can say to a child going through a divorce is, “Do you know God will never leave you?” or to the child being bullied, “Jesus would never treat you like that.” Humans fall short, but God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit do not.

FEAR OF MAN

Can we unpack this comment? 

“We are both really aware that we often don’t follow the Spirit’s prompting to pray for people out of fear of looking silly or being rejected.”

This is the number one response I get from parents when we talk about praying for others. Who taught you that loving others means you will look silly? Who taught you that covering someone else’s needs means you will be rejected? Who taught you that releasing heaven’s authority and power over someone’s pain and suffering means you will look foolish? Who taught you that it is better to leave someone in their suffering than to take a risk? Who taught you that it was all about you? Jesus gave everything so that WE could be the answer and solution to the hurting world around us. Who taught you that the risk of showing Jesus’ love to someone wasn’t worth it? The devil himself taught you because he is intimidated, nervous and afraid when believers do the greater works Jesus talked about. The enemy hates it when believers walk in authority and release love. The question is, then, why would you want to listen to him?

GOD’S NO IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS BEST

He is such a good Father. Sometimes what feels like rejection is actually protection. If your mind does not understand, declare, “Father, I trust You.”

SHIFTING YOUR FOCUS

Learning to shift my focus is what really helps me in times of earthly stress. Say it is a money issue. I do not focus on the need for money to come in (which would seem the proper response). Instead, I focus on His goodness as my Husband. When I need something, my eyes and faith aren’t on the end result, but on HIM. Instead of praying, “Jesus, I need x-amount of money by Thursday. Please send the money.” I focus on, pray, and declare, “God, YOU alone are MY Provider.” See the difference? One keeps our eyes on the lack/need, while the other keeps our eyes on Him. The latter is the place of FAITH and REST. God whispered to me years ago to “enroll them” (meaning my kids at a Christian school in CA). That is all He said. Nine months of fear and doubt followed. Worry was on one side, and God’s gentle whisper on the other – I had to choose which one I was going to partner with. After I sold our house in Colorado, said my goodbyes, and drove four children across the country, the school called to say there wasn’t any room for them and asked what my plan B was. At that moment, my entire world could have crashed. I thought about the question and realized there was NO plan B because I wasn’t striving to make plans happen. I only had what God told me. My eyes weren’t on them getting into the school or not; my eyes were on GOD’S GOODNESS. He told me what to do, I did it, and whatever He had for us would be good because He is a good Father, Husband, and Provider. A week later, the school called back to say there was room for the children. Of course, there was; God told me to enroll them. Do we have a plan B when circumstances squeeze us? Either God is good, or He isn’t. Either He is our Provider, or He isn’t. Either He is love, or He isn’t. We can’t pick and choose when we want to take Him off the shelf and when we want to put Him back on it.

CULTIVATING GRATITUDE

Take a moment and introduce your child to Psalms 100:4-5. Children of this generation understand the language of needing a ‘password’ to enter. I love how we get to write His word on their hearts!

Psalm 100:4-5 (NIV) – “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good, and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.”

BREAK AGREEMENT WITH FEAR

I am sharing a dialogue between myself and a mom in our JOURNEY class. 

A mom shared: “I definitely desire to have a deeper relationship with the Lord; however, I sense fear as a barrier. Fear of losing my children. I almost lost my daughter when she was an infant. I remember standing in that hospital room telling Him I’m ok with what He decides to do (heal or take her). He healed her, and she was considered a miracle! But ever since, I have had a fear of losing her again.”

My response: Thank you for your real and vulnerable post. I am so sorry you had to walk through that as a mom. I want to expose the fear in operation and then help you resolve it. When you walked through that experience with your daughter, it happened to you physically, emotionally, and spiritually (mind, body, spirit). God healed her, and she lived so that the immediate trauma was physically over. I am sure there is a vast amount of emotions that you had to process and are still processing ongoing due to her needs. However, I want you to see that experience also happened to you spiritually. It WAS a scary event for you, as it would be for any mother. There was a real threat of loss, and that was horrifying. Your fear of losing your children is a lingering spirit of fear from that event. The event is over, and your daughter lived, but the spirit of fear has remained. We could say it this way – that event opened the door to the spirit of fear, and the door is still open. We need to close the door and renounce partnering with it. We want to resolve it because in the spiritual realm, we welcome and invite in what we fear, and fear has no hold on you as a Daughter. It is there specifically to steal, kill, and destroy your peace and trust in God. I encourage you to spend some intentional time walking through this. 

Here are some steps to coach you, but let Holy Spirit guide you. Pray out loud, “Fear, I see you. You are exposed. I no longer partner with you over the fear of losing a child. You are a liar and not my friend, companion, or guide. I break agreement with the lie that torments my mama’s heart. I break the agreement that God is not in control. I break the agreement that I need to live in worry and fear over their physical well-being. Fear, I command you to leave now in Jesus’ name. You may not speak to my mind, the things I see, the things I hear, my nervous system, or my memories. Holy Spirit, I invite You to come and fill my mind, eyes, body, and memories with Your presence and Your peace, in Jesus’ name.” 

I also encourage you to picture taking each child in your hands and handing them over to God. He is their Father and needs to be the head of their lives as any other way will put pressure and worry on you as their mom that you are not wired to carry. Surrender their well-being, number of days, and safety to Him. As you do this with each child, then ask, “Father God, if keeping them alive and safe is Your job responsibility, then what is my responsibility?” Let Him teach you how to parent your children together, each knowing what you are responsible for and what you aren’t responsible for.