BREAKING UP WITH FEAR 2/23
BREAKING UP WITH FEAR 2/23
It never ceases to amaze me how much children actually have the Kingdom right, and we have it backward. In the natural, they are the ones that get afraid and automatically cling to their daddy for protection. Yet it is when parents are partnering with fear and refuse to go to the Father that creates the greatest hindrance in the family’s spiritual health. Fear is a LIE used by the enemy that prevents us from holding our Father’s hand and trusting Him to protect us. So instead, be childlike and jump in His lap!
FREEDOM FROM FEAR
When Hudson was six years old, he came to me after we were all in bed and said there was fear in his room. I asked what he wanted to do, and he said, “Mom, we need to go up and tell it to leave.” YES! He gets it. Fear doesn’t chase him out of his room. That is HIS room, and fear is the one that has to leave. When we KNOW fear, we need to say NO to fear. If they do not have a junior Holy Spirit, they don’t have junior authority. When my children saw ‘bad’ stuff, I asked if they wanted it to be there because respecting free will is how the Kingdom of God is established. I would then help them to pray using this outline.
The Bible instructs us to command whatever is NOT in heaven to go in Jesus’ name and to invite in whatever IS in heaven in the name of Jesus. COMMAND THE BAD TO GO: “Fear/anger/strife/chaos/, I see you, and you need to leave in Jesus’ name.” INVITE THE GOOD TO COME: “Peace/love/joy/comfort/, I invite and welcome you in Jesus’ name.” There is no rule on how to do it, but this outline helps to teach them. I love the expression, “I see you,” when speaking to the fear/anger because it helps us to FACE the issue head-on rather than ignore it or feel paralyzed by it. The greater point is that children need to be intentionally TAUGHT tools to use when fear comes. They do not need to be harassed day and night endlessly with fear. Jesus trumps fear… Always!
Ellie was feeling afraid, and I was reminded of a story I heard years ago that impacted me. It went something like this. A young girl was walking home late at night and passed a man who she later learned did some terrible things to another girl around the same time they passed each other. She couldn’t shake that it could have been her and went to the police station to identify him. She asked to speak to him and inquired why he walked by her and didn’t hurt her. His response was, “Are you kidding me? With those two big bodyguards walking with you?” I asked Ellie if two big bodyguards were standing at the door of her room, would she feel safer? Yes, of course. I then told her that the same God who protected that girl was there for her. She smiled and drifted off to sleep. Fear always reduces God to being powerless and incapable. Faith restores Him to His rightful place, position, and power.
WHAT DOES JESUS SEE?
When I was in my early 20s, I was roommates with a gal who was younger than me but more mature in every way. I would describe her as having Jesus in one hand and my hand in the other, and she would constantly introduce us in new ways. I learned so much from her. One day I had an appointment to get my car worked on, and she agreed to pick me up. I got my car checked in and was waiting outside for her. She was late – like really late. I wandered the sidewalk for over 30 minutes, growing more and more agitated. When she finally appeared, she found me in my car, speeding off without having the work done. I was mad. VERY mad. I punished her with the silent treatment and refused to talk to her. Over the years, I felt bad for how I treated her and gained some maturity in realizing that it was pretty lame of me to be so upset when she was going out of her way to help me. The memory always told the story of my bad behavior and being so rude, but I heard God say, “Ask Me to show you what I saw,” and I saw this picture in my mind of a little girl shaking; she was so scared by being left alone at night outside. She was surrounded by fear and intimidation as she was utterly unprotected and vulnerable. I realized at that moment my reaction to her had little to do with a friend who was late to pick me up and more about it triggering my memory of being vulnerable, alone, and left behind. My strong reaction was not about being impatient but about trying to feel protected and safe again. Over the years, I have learned about these splinters in our hearts that cause big reactions when touched. God does not want us to manage them but be FREE from them.
How about you? Do you have a memory that pops up often in your mind that tells the story of how ‘bad’ or wrong you behaved? Ask Jesus to show you what He sees.
TEACHING CHILDREN TO OVERCOME FEAR WITH THEIR AUTHORITY
“I had been wondering if what I was teaching my 18-month-old was even working. Over the last month, I have noticed he walks into the room when the light is off and starts to cry. He runs to me and says, ‘Momma, it’s dark. I am scared.’ As he was running away, something rose up within me, and I told him to go back in there and tell the dark, ‘I AM NOT AFRAID,’ and I stomped my foot down. We did this for a whole month. He would cry, and I would remind him, and then he would tell the dark he wasn’t afraid and walk in and grab a toy. Finally, I turned the lights on for him after he walked through the door. But this morning, he walked into the dark living room, and I heard him say all on his own and stomp his feet, ‘I AM NOT AFRAID!’ He came to me so proud, stomping his feet, and said, ‘I am not afraid.’ Needless to say, we had a party in the kitchen when he told me this. Lisa, I thought you should hear this… What you do for parents even when their kids are too young to comprehend. They do, and I’m so grateful to see my son stomp on the floor to say he is not afraid!”
A mom from class shares: “I was not supposed to be able to carry a baby to full term due to medical issues. My whole first pregnancy was bathed in fear of a miscarriage. The doctors continually warned me not to get my hopes up for a baby (even up until I was 30 weeks along!). Then, I noticed my son was very fearful and wouldn’t talk when we were out of the house. He was chatty at home but would freeze up at church, the park, or wherever. Then God showed me the connection of fear and my pregnancy with my son. I repented of the fear I partnered with (although I didn’t know that term at the time), and my husband and I prayed over him as he slept and commanded the spirit of fear to leave in Jesus’ name. The next day we went to the park with friends, and he was his usual chatty self. I didn’t see the spirit of fear in operation at all! He was free! It was amazingly simple. We are teaching him that fear is a liar, and he wants him to believe things that aren’t true. And now we are teaching him to cast fear out when he feels it. It’s amazing.”
SETTIG CAPTIVES FREE
I am seriously high-fiving Jesus right now. A mom called and shared that she sensed something was going on with her TWO-YEAR-OLD. Yes, she’s young. Yes, she is learning self-control. Yes, she has a strong personality, but the mom could tell there was something else spiritually happening. She couldn’t see it, but she could feel it. The mom had a tragic pregnancy loss before her being pregnant with her daughter. The doctors told her the chances were high that this pregnancy would not end well either. The mom had a ton of grief (rightfully so) and fear with her pregnancy. While the mom wasn’t doing anything ‘wrong,’ she was parenting with fear and anxiety, and her daughter came under the fear (yes, it is possible even from the womb). I led her in asking for forgiveness for letting fear scream at her and for partnering with it, and then we prayed, telling it to leave her daughter. GUYS!!! This mama dealt with the spirit of fear with her *2* year old, and it was RESOLVED. Many adults are still battling with fear and anxiety because they didn’t have a parent who had eyes to see. This isn’t about blame but a serious testimony of, “This is what it looks like when you parent with HIM.” Jesus is my HERO!
PASSING FEAR ON TO OUR CHILDREN
Ask any adult who grew up in Minnesota in the ’80s who Jacob Wetterling is, and they will tell you. He was an 11-year-old boy who was abducted while riding his bike home, and his body was not found for 27 years. It left a bone-chilling fear in parents that the same thing could happen to their child. Parents kept their children safe by not letting them go out at night or roam the neighborhood like they once did. Countless parents partnered with FEAR over what happened to Jacob, and it shaped their parenting. The children watched their responses and learned how to handle uncertainty and danger. As a mother now myself, I get it, but what happened is that it taught a generation in that region about fear and feeling unsafe. Those kids, myself included, grew up with an undying fear that something terrible could happen. It was nearly 30 years later that I broke agreement with the fear and learned that I was safe at night.
How you respond to current events NOW has the potential to shape your child and how they respond to future crises. Are you teaching and modeling for them how to walk in fear and panic or confidence and faith? They are watching you and are learning how to respond in times of crisis. If you are partnering with fear and want to be free from it, let’s talk about it. We have got to realign our children so that they do not grow up being afraid and managing fear. There is a difference between truth-based concern that should move us into wisdom vs. creating a demonic stronghold.
LET GOD MOVE!
There was a time God brought my daughter through some deep healing of trauma where I almost called 911 because she couldn’t breathe. The breakthrough brought such freedom that it literally changed the direction of her life. God was removing something in her heart. We once had a family meeting that was so messy I wasn’t sure any good would come of it. It brought forth the biggest breakthrough with the children’s father, and they have had a growing connection ever since. God was building something. We pulled Lauren from school halfway through the year, one of the hardest choices for her to make. Looking back, she learned some life lessons that shaped her identity and cemented her worth in Him. God was shaping her. Another child made such a big mess when she flat out rebelled against counsel and was playing with fire. She tasted it and decided it was not for her, and in the midst, God gave her the keys to help set other children free. God was building something in her. What’s my point? My point is that as parents, we have been crying out for God to move and act on behalf of our families. We have cried out about gender issues, sexual exploitation, the media that fills their minds, the attack on parental authority, lack of character, bullies, sexual perversion, promotion of sex, sex trafficking, online predators, threats to our parental rights, and on and on. LET GOD MOVE! We can’t cry out one minute, and the moment He moves, partner with fear. We have to stay in faith just as much TODAY as we did when we were crying out. God knows what He is doing. The world is messy right now, but that doesn’t mean God isn’t working. You are feeding faith or fear whenever you open your mouth. Whatever we feed grows. Either we can sit and call out every detail of the process in fear and worry, or we can zoom out and SPEAK and DECLARE the truth about who God is. Messes do not mean God isn’t working. Often, God allows the mess to be seen before He steps in.
I SAID NO TO FEAR
When my daughter was in first grade, she came home and said it was the worst day ever. She said the substitute teacher yelled at the class with a red face most of the day. I felt fear as she shared with me how the adult handled situations and asked her with the utmost compassion, “Oh honey, did you feel fear when she did that?” She wrinkled up her face and shook her head, saying, “NO! I wouldn’t let it!” She knew the fear wasn’t from her Father and how to take out her badge of authority and use it.
Kids don’t need to put up with everything that is handed to them in the spiritual realm. When my kids come home with stories about someone being unkind, rude, or disrespectful, we walk through forgiveness and then release the opposite back to them in the spiritual realm. You can’t be a victim when you are partnering with the Creator of the universe.