BOSSY BOY

BOSSY BOY

  • Heart Splinters, Testimonies

BOSSY BOY

A mom came to me desperate over her son being bossy to his siblings. She was tired of co-parenting with him and, after a year, had tried everything; spankings, timeouts, yelling, discipline, and reprimands, yet nothing seemed to break through his behavior. I asked her what happened a year ago, and she began to tell me the story of the night the police came and handcuffed the dad and took him away for doing something ‘bad.’ I can only imagine the atmosphere in the home that night with confusion over losing their dad and all the mother’s emotions. Even if the mom hid her visible feelings from her children, they still felt the atmosphere. I asked her if her son was being bossy, as in a negative character trait, or if he was trying to save his siblings from doing something terrible that gets them taken away too. He felt the weight of responsibility and feared that bad behavior equals being removed from the home. Sometimes our child’s ongoing negative, annoying, frustrating behavior is rooted in something else. In this case, the child was believing a lie that it was his job to keep his siblings in line so that they don’t get removed from the family, too. I think he is a hero and a brave brother. As parents, we need to discern how to parent what is really going on with their hearts and not just the outward behavior.

YOU NEED TIME TO GROW YOUR WOOL

Years ago, God showed me that I was still operating in a position of shame, like a black sheep (even though I know I am not one). I saw myself with black fur on me and was processing with the Lord how to get the black fur off of me. I figured He would show me how to come out from under it since it was a false garment. Instead, I had a vision where Jesus came to me like a rugged Australian sheep farmer and began to shave all of the wrong-colored wool off of me. When He was done, I was naked and automatically ran into the midst of all of the older sheep who had thick white wool. There was a sense of being protected and safe amongst them. I asked the Lord why He shaved me. He said, “You need time to grow your wool.” It is okay to be naked and vulnerable to shed our old position, operating systems, mindsets, and behaviors. It is already finished, but I was walking out my revelation of it. We need to be protected amongst healthy leaders and safe environments in our down-to-the-bone nakedness.

CHILDREN & SCREENS TESTIMONIES

We broke away from screen time and have seen a tremendous amount of change. It’s been life changing.

My son is actually WILLING to get rid of it. He overheard part of Lisa’s message and said, “Mom, Jesus told me to get it out of the house.”

Wow… Lisa! My kids got up, we cuddled, and my daughter asked why I get to have screens, and she doesn’t. I told her I was working on not being on my phone so much. Then the kids got up and ran to me with a card game and asked if they could play it. I said yes, and they cheered! This is amazing!! This morning we are going to sit together, repent and take communion.

This morning I hid all remotes/electronics while I prayed and waited for my husband to be on board with selling the tv. My kids played together ALL day. When they had little tiffs, they figured them out pretty quickly. They only asked for TV twice today, and I told them it was out of order for the day. Their whining about it was so very short; it was amazing!

A powerful night of teaching!

I told the kids we were going to take a break from screens. After dinner, they got PJs on, and rather than asking for a show on their own, they grabbed some water, paintbrushes, and their watercolor books, and they’ve been painting since!!

Lisa, thank you for being bold for the Kingdom and stepping out before the rest of us in your teaching last night. I’m in AWE of the word God had you deliver. The number of families it will impact – makes me tear up.

My son made the BOLD decision to sell his switch without ANY prompting. I’m SHOCKED! He asked me to list it on Facebook marketplace, and it sold within 2 minutes. He has 100% peace about it. I’m just so so proud of him. Wow! He decided to buy a drone and a DJ board with the money – new hobbies were one of my prayers, and the Lord had already answered.

APRIL SHOWERS

I heard the Lord say to me, “April showers bring May flowers,” and was reminded of the scene in The Shack where Sarayu (Holy Spirit) was collecting the tears of Mack, who was deeply grieving the devastating loss of his daughter. Later in the movie, Sarayu used those same tears to water the seeds that would become a massive tree. God is doing something profoundly deep within you in this season. Spiritual Daughters, I am so proud of you! I am proud of the one who stepped away and caught her breath. I am proud of the one who went outside to let the tears flow. I am proud of the one who chose faith over fear. I am proud of the one who showed her gorgeous vulnerability. I am proud of the one who sobbed in her closet. I am proud of the one who called a friend and shared her heart. I am so proud of the one who owned her heart and what she was feeling. I am so proud of the one who kept her eyes on Jesus. I am proud of the one who dropped to her knees, asking God for help. I am so proud of you for choosing to let God have His way with you and not medicating your heart with the novocain of the world. The only way to lessen the pain is to feel it. Let Jesus continue to have His way with you, and He will allow those tears to blossom into something so beautiful.

MIRACLE PREGNANCY

Mother’s Day is a challenging day for many hoping, waiting, and longing for a child. I want to spend some time sharing our testimonies about our miracle babies. Here is my story!

I had a series of abdominal surgeries in my early 20s due to my drug overdose. As the tech came in to put me to sleep, he mentioned my never being able to have biological children, something my doctor never told me. I woke tormented by the thought as I had a daughter that I placed for adoption years earlier, and the hope of having children again someday was my balm. He assured me that we would cross that bridge when the time came. After additional testing, I was given a 5% chance of getting pregnant naturally. I grieved the reality in the back of my mind for years, and when I got engaged, we had to have a painful conversation about our future. We were approved for foster care, had the room all ready, and waiting for the placement phone call when I got pregnant. We were undone with joy! Excited, we met at the doctor’s office at eight weeks to hear the heartbeat, to which they found none. I sat in our sunlit empty family room for 8 hours, staring at the floor, crying and bewildered why God would allow me to get pregnant only to take it away. I experienced a depth of pain and confusion unknown to my weathered heart. We got pregnant again the following month, and I called the nurse’s line to say I was feeling good. She laughed at me, saying people don’t call the nurses’ line with the complaint of feeling good, but I knew something was wrong. Sure enough, not only was the heartbeat not found, but it was ectopic, and they wanted me to help end it. I could not. I knew the risks, but with my journey, there was no way I could agree to help end its life, even if it meant losing mine. It was an agonizing season for me. I found great comfort with a picture of Jesus sitting and holding each of my babies so close in age. I poured my heart out to a mentor and told her something felt like these babies were stolen from me. I know miscarriage happens, but something felt off to me. While I was no longer suicidal, I had opened the door to the spirit of death, and we did ministry in that area (please note I am NOT saying all miscarriages are from the same cause. This was my journey as God led me to resolve this in my life from my partnership with suicide and death). Two months later, we got pregnant again – with TWINS. I knew deep down this was the redemption story of what was lost. Knowing what a miracle it was to even get pregnant at all in my medical condition, I did not think we would get pregnant yet again, but when the twins were four months old, we got pregnant with Hudson and again with Ellie Rose. All the while, my 5% chance never changed, but GOD… 

HAND HIM THE BROOM

I am pretty good at processing my heart. Messy emotions don’t make me uncomfortable, and I know how to press into them for growth and freedom. But divorce kicked my bum in this area. I felt stuck and unable to know how even to process my emotions, much less do something about them. I have always had older female mentors speaking into my life, and I leaned on them heavily this season, but I had this insane desire to find a non-Christian male counselor. I wanted to get feedback outside of my usual circle. I only went once because I got what I needed in my first meeting. I was lamenting about all of the issues between my ex-husband and how I just wanted to put a pretty bow on it and THEN divorce. I hated the unresolved conflict because I didn’t want to leave things so messy. He said to me, “Lisa, the meaning of divorce is unfinished business. If it were resolved, you wouldn’t be getting a divorce. You need to learn to be okay with not having it cleaned up.” Whoa… It freed me from the broom in my hand that so desperately wanted to clean up every area of the mess and make it neat again. My heart couldn’t partner with throwing the broom on the floor and walking away. Instead, I decided to give my broom to Jesus to deal with the mess as He chose best. It was one of the most challenging aspects of my divorce, yet one of the most freeing. 

“Jesus, I hand You the broom to clean up my mess and to turn my mistakes, immaturity, and weakness into something beautiful. I hand over all the files and ask that You deal with them according to Your power and grace. I no longer hold myself captive to a mess that is too big for me to clean up.” 

Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Perhaps you are not going through a painful divorce, but maybe you have an ending relationship, were let go from a job you loved, or are strained with your adult children. If there are issues that are undealt with, and it is causing you added pain, hear this: Your job is to LOVE Him. His job is to pick up the broom.

SELF-HATRED

JOURNEY isn’t about a moment, a one-time fix, or a parenting program. This is about a journey of going deeper with Him. This precious mama changes her children’s lives simply by being willing to go further in her journey with Him.

“This lesson really revealed a heart splinter of my own that has been festering for two decades. As a child, I had a strong desire to go to the Air Force Academy. Looking back, I know this idea was planted by my father, a pro-military man. Being the youngest of seven kids, I also think there was some pressure to perform for the financial gain as well as sort of the ‘last-ditch effort’ from my dad. I had always been closer to my dad and felt I didn’t measure up to the perfect daughter ideal that my mother had. I would rather be in the barn with Dad than shop for the latest styles at the mall. I wholeheartedly partnered with the lie that I could achieve favor with my earthly father IF I could just get into the Academy. I worked on every piece of my life to make the Air Force Academy a reality. I pushed and pushed to be the best at all things – school, sports, standardized tests, volunteering… anything that would get me ahead and get me in. The irony is I didn’t get in, and my dad never forgave me. This year on my birthday, he mocked and ridiculed me for it again in front of my closest friends. I finally realized it wasn’t about me – my Heavenly Father was carrying me and loving me through a whole decade of self-hatred after that event. I felt abandoned by my family and was in a real state of self-defeat. I tried relationships, alcohol, and eating disorders and all those lies created more hurt and heart splinters. I prayed daily for relief from the sadness, and in hindsight, I saw God was carrying me and protecting me from myself through all those years. As I surrendered my experience, I vowed not to do that to my children. They will know God’s peace, His enduring love for them, and the truth that their worth is from Him and nothing I put upon them. I also see now that I am worthy of His love and that nothing I have done has separated me from His love.”

Parents, I invite you to join the JOURNEY. Your children will thank you for it! Journey – ONLINE CLASS – Let the Children Fly

 

CAN I PRAY FOR YOU, MOM?

I was in one of my go-go-go modes and feeling frazzled by all that needed to get done. My daughter came to me so sweetly and said, “Mom, is there anything I can do for you because you really NEED to rest?” She was so gentle and kind but serious about it. She is only SEVEN but understands the concept of staying in a place of peace, rest, and trusting well. It would be easy to partner with feeling like a hypocrite in trying to teach my children about the Kingdom when I still struggle with things, but my kids will never have the years of trauma and emotional baggage I did as a child. While I am unlearning things, they are learning them for the first time at a young age. It is OKAY that I am teaching them about their Father when I am still learning. It is also OKAY that they are surpassing me in many (many) areas already. I think that is awesome, and I welcome the voice of a seven-year-old to remind me that it is okay to rest. She is a world changer and often changes mine! 

VICTIM VS. SON/DAUGHTER

At church, Hudson asked if I would buy him a muffin and began to tell me how he didn’t have any time to eat. It rubbed me the wrong way, so I stopped and asked if that was true. He had 45 minutes, and ‘all’ he did was get dressed, which provided enough time to eat. I needed him to see something. He was coming at me as a victim, trying to motivate me to meet his need. I want him to approach me as a son. I want him to see me as a mother who cares. Yes, I want him to take responsibility for managing his responsibilities and time, but this isn’t his norm or weakness. I helped him to see that he wasn’t a victim but instead chose not to eat and was now paying the price for it. I asked him to approach me like a son and humble himself with his need. It is risky asking someone for help when you have messed up, but I don’t want my children to partner with being a victim to motivate me (or others) to help them. If I had bought him a muffin without helping him to own his choice, I would have indirectly taught him that there is power in being a victim. He enjoyed his muffin and grew in learning how his Father deals with His children.

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

I was driving around with Ellie, and she began to ask who in the world would trash the Cross. I look over and see a large cross in front of a church that has white sheets haphazardly draped all over it. I laughed and said, “It is because Jesus is RISEN, sweetie,” and she said, “Oh phew. I thought Jesus got TP’D”