BEING A DAUGHTER

BEING A DAUGHTER

I love how God sets us up for success as parents. My daughter was really hurt by someone and needed some room to work through the messy emotions. After we were done processing, the verse of the day popped up on my phone and read, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21). Instantly, I heard in my spirit that I was to apply that in this situation and said, “Do not be overcome by an orphan but overcome the orphan by being a Daughter.” Spiritual orphans operate differently than Sons and Daughters, even in pain. There was a profound shift in her when she realized the other person’s choices were not a reflection of who she was. Teaching our children WHO they are is critical to helping them navigate life.

CLING TO RIGHTEOUSNESS

I walked through some deep betrayal years ago and wrestled it deeply with God. I had this mental picture of Jesus holding both of us on His lap, and it made me mad. This person brought me so much turmoil and pain, and I didn’t like the fact Jesus loved them so much (this isn’t my true heart, but it was a moment in my processing the pain). I finally called my mentor because it was making my heart feel unsafe with God. How in the world could He love someone who has brought so much pain? Her response was brilliant and literally shifted something so deep within me. She said, “Lisa, you do not fully understand the picture. God loves this person just as much as He does you because He created them, but God is only on the side of righteousness, and this person isn’t choosing righteousness.” It wasn’t a matter of whose side God was on as much as it was who was on His side. It was like my hands opened, and I dropped whatever offense, pain, or fight I was holding onto and clung to righteousness. It altered decisions and outcomes dramatically.

ORPHAN PARENTING

God created us to be fully alive, deeply accepted, and truly belong. The aftermath of the fall is that man became a spiritual orphan separated from God and wandered around life, feeling profound feelings of abandonment, loneliness, and isolation. The Good News is that Jesus came to restore us to that place of deep security with the Father. We can accept Christ yet still wander like an orphan, striving, begging, and doing life on our own. Imagine a child digging through the dump, fending for themselves, and meeting their needs for food and clothing all on their own. Now picture a palace where the table is always set and a room with your name on it. When we become Christians, we get the honor of living in the palace, yet some enjoy the view and go back to the dump laboring daily to meet their needs. It is impossible to raise a child as a Son/Daughter in the palace when you occupy the dump yourself. Orphan parenting is when we parent our children from a place of isolation, abandonment, self-protection, striving, loneliness, self-sufficiency, and lack. We are teaching them orphan living, not Kingdom reality.

CURSING MOMS

Mamas, are you cursing your body? It is hard to raise daughters with healthy self-esteem when you model cursing your own body. My mom had four kids close in age and didn’t like the way it affected her body. I was secure and confident growing up with my body; however, the moment I had kids (also four close in age, including twins), I immediately turned against my body and felt like it was ‘ruined.’ I was intentional about building up my daughters and their self-image. God began to show me that what my mom taught me, by cursing her own body, is that motherhood ‘ruins’ your body. I was simply modeling that belief onto my children. I entered a season of greater self-love and acceptance for my body, which has miraculously produced life. I want my daughters to feel beautiful now AND after they become a mom. It isn’t about praising them but modeling acceptance for myself.

***This isn’t just for daughters. When moms curse their own bodies in front of their sons, they are teaching them that there is something wrong with a woman’s body, which we surely don’t want him to transfer to his wife someday.

KNOW THE SEASON

Every child of God should be asking this question right now. “Jesus, what season am I in?” If you do not know your season, you will work against the natural flow of God. You will be burned out, worst yet, taken out. This is a time to be awakened to YOUR season in this hour. For some, it will be silence; for others, it will be using their voice. Some will enter rest, while others will tap into the endurance He built in the previous season. Others will be in a season of healing, while some will be ministers. Some are to post; others are to shut down social media. Some will be on the front lines; others will be unseen. 

Seasons build upon seasons. You can’t have a harvest time without a planting season. You cannot enjoy the fruit if you haven’t plowed. All seasons are vital. Your role in this season is important, but you must know the season YOU are in so that you can be the fullest version of yourself. “Jesus, what season am I in?”

CAN’T HEAR

The number one reason why people can’t hear God speaking to them isn’t because God isn’t speaking. It is that they don’t really believe God loves them enough to speak to them. It is a heart issue, not a listening issue.

LET HIM PERFORM

You can only be condemned in your parenting if you are doing it FOR Him. When we do things in our own strength, it becomes about our performance. But, when you have the revelation that He lives IN you and works THROUGH you, one cannot condemn what Jesus is doing.

DAUGHTER GOOGLES

I ministered to a 20-year-old mom who said with tears streaming down her face, “Lisa, you gave me Daughter goggles. Suddenly all I can see now is the orphan spirit in operation, which makes me so hungry to act like a Daughter.” I couldn’t help but laugh. I like the sound of that. And then we prayed for the gift of discerning identity to be activated in her life. She is a force to be reckoned with and will be used mightily in the Kingdom to give others Daughter goggles.

GOD IS SO UNFAIR!

A child of mine has been making lots of messes lately, which has caused a break in connection with the rest of us. The other night another child was crying in their room out of pure exasperation with their sibling. I knew as a mom I had to be more aggressive spiritually in going after this, but I did not know what to do. Sometimes just opening my mouth and letting others in helps shift something, so I shared it with my team. We ended up putting on worship music to be in His presence. I began to cry out for help. God showed me two specific things I was to do for this child. The one made sense, but the other was switching the kids’ rooms around. My first thought was, “Are you kidding me? Said child makes a big mess and gets rewarded with the room upgrade? Another child, who has been hurt by them, has to give that room up?” My mind did not see the wisdom in this strategy AT ALL, but when you partner with God in your parenting, and He gives you a strategy for your child who is in a hard season, you OBEY fully and completely. The kids came home from school, and we spent the night rearranging all of their rooms. I kept telling my child, “God loves you and knows you. He is so unfair in that He is not giving you what you deserve but what you NEED.” Thank You, Father, that You judge by the scales of Your eyes and not ours.

HUNGRY TOGETHER

I started out just offering the Kingdom parenting class to moms, and then He brought a slew of hungry dads to join us. Then grandmas started asking to join because they wanted to influence their grandchildren and have a better connection with their adult children. My heart leaped when grandmas and adult daughters wanted to take the class together. Then there was a season where He was bringing young married couples who had not yet become parents but wanted to align their hearts and mind with Him before they brought children into the world. I smiled when singles began to take the class, saying they wanted to heal from some of the parenting choices their parents made in raising them. Jesus is just so good. And in our relaunching of the class, He is unfolding a new theme – besties coming together to learn side by side. We have couples taking it with their best friends and small groups of girlfriends taking it simultaneously. They are learning together in the class and then intentionally connecting weekly to discuss and go deeper. 

I AM RAISING SONS AND DAUGHTERS

I was in line at the post office one morning and checked something on my phone, which caused me to click on a recent post. My daughter saw the number of likes and said, “Man, Mom, what did you post that everyone loved so much.” I realized a few of you probably know my heart behind my posts. I never share any of the testimonies of my children without their permission. It is their story, and I would never want them to feel exposed. For every story you hear, there is a handful that we keep quite close to our hearts. I take great care with their testimonies as it is the relationship between them and their Father. At the same time, they clearly understand that God has given us a gift and that we have a call on our lives to steward it well and give it away so others can receive too. I also realized few of you probably know that I do not share the posts, the likes, or your comments with my children after I ask permission. I do not want them to value (or devalue) what God had done for them based on the number of likes and responses. I have intentionally shielded them from social media and think it will be quite a shock to them when, one day, they see how their experiences with Jesus have impacted so many families around the globe. I am not raising celebrities on a platform. I am raising a Son and Daughters who have a lifestyle of going to their Father. You just get a front-row seat to witness it.