A PIECE OF PEACE

A PIECE OF PEACE

  • Family Circle, Fear

A PIECE OF PEACE

Teaching children to ‘check your peace’ is a great way to train them to self-govern their choices. 

Years ago, I came out of my bedroom and could not locate three of my four children. Alarmed, I raced from room to room. I began yelling their names outside, looking up and down the sidewalk for three young children. I was a breath away from panic when I heard the Lord say, “They are okay, but this is serious.” I jumped in the car and drove around looking for them. I spotted them talking to a homeless man. They bolted away from him the second they saw me. Teaching children to ‘check your peace’ is a great way to train them to govern their choices by being led of the Spirit. “He hasn’t left us as orphans but is with us and guides us” (John 14:18).

They got in the car, and I could smell fear all over them, but I didn’t say a word. We got home, and I called a family meeting. I told them that they scared my heart and reminded them of our family rule not to go where my eyes cannot see them. They asked for forgiveness. We hugged and carried on, but something didn’t sit right, and an hour later, it was still nagging me. I asked the Holy Spirit to show me what my lack of peace was, and He said, “Lisa, they did not just disobey you; they disobeyed Me.” There it was.

I called them all back and asked, “When you walked outside the door, was there ever a time Holy Spirit spoke to you?” They all burst into tears, telling me how they heard they were not to go up the sidewalk or that they should warn their sisters to come back home and how He told them they should not talk towards that man, yet each time they ignored Him and carried on. I told them with tears rolling down my cheeks that I have rules to keep them safe but that they have the Holy Spirit to help lead them when they are wandering outside of what is safe.

I asked them if they felt peace in their belly as they were walking away, and they all said NO. That was Holy Spirit telling them they were getting too far.

We must empower our children that PEACE is their pillar, and when peace leaves, it is time for us to STOP and pay attention to what He is saying.

Isaiah 26:3 – “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you.” When our eyes get off Him, and we wander away, the first thing that leaves is our peace. 

OUR FAMILY IS CONNECTED

Call a family meeting and tell everyone they need to put on pants or shorts with a belt loop.

Bring a rope or ball of yarn and have each family member sit in a circle close together. Remind them how you are all connected by God’s design. We have a job description to figure out how to not only get along but to love each other well.

I tell my children that the sibling who causes their heart frustration is providing a training ground for their future roommates, employer, or even their spouse. It is okay that there is a journey of becoming more like Jesus.

Begin to loop one end of the rope through the belt loop of your pants and then pass it onto the next person. Give a little wiggle room between persons (about two feet). After the last person is roped in, tell them that God sees your family roped together and there is no beginning or end. Regardless of your life journey in the years ahead, you will always be called family with the people sitting before you.

Tell them that you are going to spend the next hour together – literally! Set the alarm on your phone and begin by standing up, and where one goes, you all go. Does anyone need a snack? Try walking in the kitchen together and whip up something to eat. What’s next? How about trying to sit and play a game together. Does the mail need to be brought in? Give it a try (together, of course).  

There will be laughter along the way, and there may also be some frustrations. That’s okay. Keep going. After an hour, wiggle your way to the family room and cut everyone loose but talk about how it is impossible to be separated from each other in God’s eyes. When one part of the family endures something, it affects the whole family. While we want to learn how to manage ourselves, we also take care of the family unit God has entrusted to us.

In the days ahead, when you are witnessing sharp tones, disrespect towards each other, or selfishness, lovingly come to that child and remind them of this exercise. Ask if there is a way they could respond that communicates care for THEIR family. As a reminder of being roped together, you could recreate the fun arm exercise in the photo. You may want to do this each morning as a personal handshake before you walk out the door for the day as a reminder that you are connected and stronger together.

WHO IS FIRST?

Gather the family and write down all of the things that are ‘BIG’ in their world including school, making friends, etc. After the list is complete, draw a line under it (it is okay that the list takes up most of the paper). Under the line, write out John 3:16. And then flip the paper upside down. Explain how the things that are BIG in their world can feel heavy and can sometimes make us feel like God’s truth is small or even shrinking, but the truth is (flipping the paper upside down) that God’s character, promises, and faithfulness are unchanging despite circumstances, and we can filter every single thing written on the list through the lens of His perfect love.

TELL ME A STORY

I encourage you to embrace this activity as part of your family connection time. Children love hearing stories, and there is something so life-giving about hearing stories about your family members. 

Spend some intentional time thinking of your own childhood stories, as well as those of your parents and grandparents. 

Gather the children, perhaps over a fun dinner, cup of hot cocoa, or all piled on the bed, and tell them a story. 

Maybe you will want to draw a question out of a hat, or maybe you will want to make it a part of your bedtime routine for a while? Either way, just make sure you are passing down the family stories; even those that feel trivial will teach a child about where they came from.

Some great ideas to share with your kids would be a time you:

  • Were proud of your achievements
  • Got in big trouble
  • Traveled somewhere fun
  • Teased your sibling
  • Had fun with friends
  • Felt scared
  • First met Jesus
  • Moved into a new home
  • Met a new friend

Pass on the stories you were told about your parents and grandparents – where did they live, go to school, what did they do for work, how did they meet and marry? 

In this five-minute message, I share the importance of passing the stories onto your children from their generational line: What’s My Story by Lisa Max – Let the Children Fly! (anchor.fm)

ENCOUNTERING THE FATHER

God longs for His children to experience Him, not just know Him mentally. I am convinced that one of the biggest reasons why so many children grow up and leave the church is not because they never knew or loved God, but because they failed to EXPERIENCE Him. 

ENCOUNTERING THE FATHER is a resource tool we created for parents, friends, and leaders to help usher others into an encounter with the Father. There are over 100 encounter questions, along with instructions on how to guide anyone into an encounter, host your own ‘encounter the Father’ event, or use them in a corporate setting.

We have provided you with two formats including a running list of all of the encounter questions, as well as a printable card format.

Jesus has a lot to say to a child walking through the ups and downs of life. Sometimes, despite our wisdom, they need to hear from the One who knit them together. This tool will teach you how to lead them into an encounter.

Could you imagine what would happen to your family if you were able to lead them to encounter Him in their time of need? You will discover key questions to ask your loved ones so that they can experience Him.

Encountering the Father EBook – Let the Children Fly

TEACHING CHILDREN ABOUT FREE WILL

Here is an excellent way to teach children the truth about our powerful God and free will.

Call a family meeting and together read Deuteronomy 30:15, “Look at what I’ve done for you today: I’ve placed in front of you life and good, death and evil.” Talk about some actions, words, or attitudes that cause life and blessing, and then talk about ways we can partner with death and evil. 

Ask for a volunteer to grab a spoon from the kitchen. Chances are he will jump up and do it gladly. Ask them why they jumped up and obeyed your instruction. Highlight to them that you were not forcing, controlling, or walking them to the kitchen, but that they did it out of their own choice.

Now role-play and talk about what would happen if you started yelling and threatening them that if they didn’t get the spoon, you would remove their toys, make them sleep in the garage, or punish them. They might ‘obey,’ but it would be out of fear and intimidation, not because they wanted to do it.

This is so important – explain to them that God gave each of us the GIFT of being able to choose things on our own. He puts before us life and death, and WE get to choose. He never controls us because tools like fear, rage, control, intimidation, manipulation, and threats are the devil’s tools and are a form of witchcraft. God never uses the devil’s tools to get His children to obey. He is good and wants us to trust Him.

A typical question around free will is WHY did God allow something? When we know His heart for giving us a choice, the question becomes HOW can God possibly contain the heartbreak of watching His creation reject His love and His plans to bless, provide, and protect us?

Doing this activity with your children not only applies to the current events but sets the stage for a lifetime.

In the days ahead, when you see your child choosing words and actions that are not life-giving, gently come alongside them and remind them of this exercise and ask, “Are you choosing blessings or curses, life or death right now?” You are helping them see their free will in action in practical settings.

AUTHORITY OVER FEAR

We do not manage fear. We do not become a slave to overcome it. We do not coddle fear. We use our authority OVER it so that it is resolved once and for all. I see so many parents living life managing their fear. This is spiritual orphan living and a recipe for defeat. Christ died to give you authority over fear. I declare that it can be resolved and dissolved in your life!

FEAR NO MORE

Fear has no place in our homes and parenting. It is time we rise up and issue eviction notices. 

Ask – “Jesus, is the door to fear open?”

Ask – “Holy Spirit, will You please show me who I need to forgive for introducing me to fear of _____?” 

Relax and trust He is able to show you. Just receive His revelation. 

Pray – “I make the choice to forgive _____ for _____ and for introducing me to a spirit of fear over (name the specific fear).”

Ask – “Jesus, will You please show me what lies I have believed because of the fear?” Allow Him to show you. 

Declare – “I break agreement with the lie that _____. I cancel all assignments against me and my family associated with this lie in Jesus’ name.”

Command – “Spirit of fear, I command you to leave in Jesus’ name. You may no longer speak to my mind, the things I see, the things I hear, the words I speak out, or the words I speak to myself. You no longer have a legal right to influence me in this area. Holy Spirit, I invite You to come and fill my mind, eyes, ears, and words with Your peace, power, and love in Jesus’ name.”

FEAR IS NOT YOURS

When God says, “Fear not,” He means FEAR IS NOT YOURS! Look what this mom shared.

“Lisa, thank you! After your words, I prayed against fear last night, and I slept harder than I have in months. I woke up feeling refreshed, and there was SUCH a cool sunrise this morning with a HUGE sun breaking out from clouds. It was beautiful and spoke to me about strength and clarity breaking out of the fog. Thank you for your encouragement!”

LET GOD MOVE!

There was a time God brought my daughter through some deep healing of trauma where I almost called 911 because she couldn’t breathe. The breakthrough brought such freedom that it literally changed the direction of her life. God was removing something in her heart. We once had a family meeting that was so messy I wasn’t sure any good would come of it. It brought forth the biggest breakthrough with the children’s father, and they have had a growing connection ever since. God was building something. We pulled Lauren from school halfway through the year, one of the hardest choices for her to make. Looking back, she learned some life lessons that shaped her identity and cemented her worth in Him. God was shaping her. Another child made such a big mess when she flat out rebelled against counsel and was playing with fire. She tasted it and decided it was not for her, and in the midst, God gave her the keys to help set other children free. God was building something in her. What’s my point? My point is that as parents, we have been crying out for God to move and act on behalf of our families. We have cried out about gender issues, sexual exploitation, the media that fills their minds, the attack on parental authority, lack of character, bullies, sexual perversion, promotion of sex, sex trafficking, online predators, threats to our parental rights, and on and on. LET GOD MOVE! We can’t cry out one minute, and the moment He moves, partner with fear. We have to stay in faith just as much TODAY as we did when we were crying out. God knows what He is doing. The world is messy right now, but that doesn’t mean God isn’t working. You are feeding faith or fear whenever you open your mouth. Whatever we feed grows. Either we can sit and call out every detail of the process in fear and worry, or we can zoom out and SPEAK and DECLARE the truth about who God is. Messes do not mean God isn’t working. Often, God allows the mess to be seen before He steps in. 

SWEET DREAMS

I got up early to finish some computer work, and Ellie came to me. She said she had a really bad nightmare. I held her for a moment, but it was too early for her to stay up. As I tucked her back in bed, I whispered to her, “Sweetie, ask Jesus where He is right now.” Still half asleep, she smiled ear to ear and said, “He’s right here with me.”