40 YEAR LIE

40 YEAR LIE

  • Heart Splinters, Testimonies

40 YEAR LIE

 A lady in her 40’s was so paralyzed by groups that she would not attend classes, go to Bible studies, church, restaurants, or anywhere else where large groups gathered. Finally, she could not take the isolation anymore and began seeking help. When they asked Jesus to show her the first time she felt paralyzed by a large group, she recalled the story of when she was just three years old and remembered feeling loved and secure with her large family. They were at her house, and there was a lot of excitement and love, but on a particular day, when she walked into the room, they all hushed really quickly, and she could tell that something was wrong. They all just stared at her, and the silence was paralyzing and awkward for her. For years the question, “What is wrong with me?” haunted her. Jesus showed her that the family was in town for her surprise birthday party and that they were all discussing how they would surprise her. When she walked in, they all got silent, not wanting to ruin the surprise.

Doesn’t that story break your heart? ONE lie for FORTY years! But this is what I want you to see – when the heart splinter (in this case, a lie of “what is wrong with me?”) entered, it was the PARENTS who surely saw a change in their daughter. You cannot believe a lie like that and not have it change how you think, feel and act. Had the parents been empowered to help her, the splinter could have been pulled in childhood.

MOTHER DOESN’T ALWAYS KNOW BEST

My 14-year-old twin daughters felt like God was leading them to start a small group for their 11-year-old sister and her friends. I supported them, telling them that it would be just as much for their growth and development as leaders as it would be for the girls receiving from them. I would mentor them while they were mentoring the girls. The third week in, they couldn’t get their act together. There was conflict over the lesson, and the morning of it still wasn’t done. I didn’t think it was wise to have all of the girls come if they weren’t prepared, so I went to text the moms. I was just about to hit ‘send’ when I heard the Lord say, “Do not cancel.” Hmm. Okay, sometimes the Lord allows us to reap what we sow, and I figured the Lord wanted the girls to experience what happens when you don’t steward what you have been given. My heart hurt for them as I knew it would be uncomfortable and awkward being an unprepared leader. 

When the group was over, the girls came to me and said it was the ‘best group ever.’ What? No. It couldn’t be. They weren’t prepared at all. How? And that is when I heard the Lord remind me that I have always taught my kids to lead and speak from the heart. It isn’t about memorizing lines but knowing the issue in their heart and speaking from that place. I ultimately failed to realize that God was the one who called them to do this, and He was sufficient to speak through them. Perhaps the group was such a success because it wasn’t all planned out perfectly, and God had room to move. Sometimes mother does not know best, and we need to learn to trust that the Father has their back and knows what He is doing with them.

EYES THAT SEE

My daughter was complaining about her eyesight, and something didn’t feel right about it (not sure why or what, but it didn’t sit right in my spirit). She came to me one day wearing my glasses, telling me how cool she looked in them. Hmmm. I asked her if any part of her wanted her eyes to be bad enough to need glasses, and she admitted she did because some of her friends have them, and they look ‘cool.’ I explained to her that when we WANT our bodies to be broken, we are actually inviting it in. We renounced the lie that she needed glasses to be cool and then prayed for her eyes to work the way they were created. It is one thing to need glasses to assist a physical condition. It is another thing to invite brokenness to feed a lie.

LIES DON’T FIT

My daughter started to cry, more like wail. I came running into the room thinking she was hurt, and she said, “He called me a boy!” I reassured her she was a girl, but the crying would not stop. I asked her what she would think if I told her she was a puppy or had purple hair. She thought that was pretty silly. Exactly! Just because someone calls you a boy doesn’t make it true. She was distraught because she accepted what he said, which didn’t fit.

Children need to learn that rejecting words spoken over them is okay. They need to be taught that not everything they hear (from others and in their minds) is true. Lies don’t feel good, make sense or bring peace because lies are demonic. Children can be empowered to say NO to lies!

CLING TO RIGHTEOUSNESS

I walked through some deep betrayal years ago and wrestled it deeply with God. I had this mental picture of Jesus holding both of us on His lap, and it made me mad. This person brought me so much turmoil and pain, and I didn’t like the fact Jesus loved them so much (this isn’t my true heart, but it was a moment in my processing the pain). I finally called my mentor because it was making my heart feel unsafe with God. How in the world could He love someone who has brought so much pain? Her response was brilliant and literally shifted something so deep within me. She said, “Lisa, you do not fully understand the picture. God loves this person just as much as He does you because He created them, but God is only on the side of righteousness, and this person isn’t choosing righteousness.”

It wasn’t a matter of whose side God was on as much as it was who was on His side. It was like my hands opened, and I dropped whatever offense, pain, or fight I was holding onto and clung to righteousness. It altered decisions and outcomes dramatically. The question is not “Is God on my side?”. The question is, “Are you on God’s side?”.

DON’T LISTEN TO HER

Years ago, when I was getting ready to put the house on the market, there was a ton of work to do. Three times I asked my son (then 7) if he had picked up his room, and three times he said it was perfectly clean. I was already tired and exhausted and felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I walked down into his room and stopped dead in my tracks. Legos – everywhere! Upon further investigation, I discovered a week’s worth of perfectly clean clothes stuffed in the most bizarre places. I came unglued. I unleashed my mounting frustration on him and ‘cursed’ him – not with swear words, but by calling out things that were not a part of his identity. I was saying things like, “You are making my life so hard,” “You don’t care how hard I am working,” “You always do this,” “You never clean your room…” Lies full of anger.

In the midst of my emotional release, Holy Spirit told me to STOP and go upstairs. It was so strong that I simply zipped my mouth mid-sentence and walked out. I got upstairs and lamented to God in my pity party about being a single mom having to do it ALL by myself, plus homeschooling, plus selling the house, plus, plus, plus, plus. Finally, the anger gave way to tears, and I needed to realign myself with the truth that I was NOT alone, that God was still providing and caring for me, that I had permission to rest and know that my Father radically loves me! I know enough about inner healing to know I just sliced my son’s heart pretty good and needed to make it right with him ASAP. I went down to his room, where he was faithfully cleaning his Legos, and told him with tears how sorry I was. His response was, “Oh, that’s okay, Mom.” I made him stand up and put my hands on his shoulders, and told him that it wasn’t okay that I, or anyone else, spoke to him like that and that I was wrong. His response? “Don’t worry about it, Mom. I still love you.” His response confused me as it didn’t match the scene a few moments ago. He said these powerful, life-changing words with tears in his eyes. He said, “Oh, Mom, you don’t get it. What you said hurt my heart so bad, but when you were walking up the stairs, I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know, and He said, ‘Don’t listen to her,’ so I just threw out your words.”

I had trained and then practiced and practiced with my children going to Jesus, and now, when it was ME causing the hurt, he knew how to take it to Jesus and get the healing he needed without me! Equipping our children to hear His voice and work through hurts, lies, and offenses is, in my opinion, the greatest tool for success you can ever give your child in today’s world. I encourage you – MASTER this over time! Please just sit for a moment and let the Holy Spirit use that testimony to release something in your own heart.

HEALING TRIGGERS

“Last night my husband startled me so badly that I became so enraged and punched him, which is unlike me because I’m not much of a physical person. I was so angry I wanted to cry. This morning God revealed to me how I felt an extreme lack of protection from my father. My dad always thought it was funny to scare the living daylights out of me. He wasn’t trying to torment me. He was playing, but for me, the way I am wired, it was torment. I had to forgive my dad for not protecting me and not making me feel safe and secure. Ahhhh!! Sweet relief!”

THE FAITH OF A CHILD CHANGES THE WORLD AROUND THEM

I had four days to find a home, and on our last day, I had resolved in my heart that it was not going to happen on this trip. I often say that I am not shopping for a home, but peace shopping and nothing was bringing me peace. I arrived at a meeting a few minutes earlier and began to scroll through the pages of available houses while sitting in the parking lot. A brand-new home popped up, and I sent them a message, fully confident I would encounter the typical robot responses. Instead, the owner replied, saying we could come the following day, but I was flying out that morning. He said I could come right now, but I couldn’t get out of this important ministry meeting. I suggested after, but he was busy then. We settled on a time, and I went into my meeting. When we got into the car, I looked up the address, and it was another 30 minutes south of our hotel. I was tired and frankly done with looking at homes. I just wanted to go back to the hotel and rest. I mentioned to Ellie that I was going to cancel the showing, and she said, “No way. You can’t do that. God told me that we would get a house by the end of today, and this is our last showing before we go back home. Mom, you have to go.” In all honesty, I went simply to appease her faith.

I drove down, and the first thing I noticed was that the homes in this community did not look like Southern homes but Colorado homes, which was on my wish list. I love Colorado home builders as they just have a different style about them. We enjoyed our tour and visited with the owner, who was wonderful (another thing on my wish list). He let me know that another application was already from the people coming to see it the following day. I resolved to submit to the process even though we were flying out in the am. I got in the car and heard God say, “Do you want it?” I pondered for a moment and said, “Yeah, I think I do,” and heard Him reply, “Then fight for it.” I don’t have a competitive bone in my body and would never fight for a house if someone else had an application in, but at the Lord’s leading, I left the owner a message telling him our journey and asked if he would give me favor by allowing us to have the house. By that evening, we were under contract!

I would not have even gone to the appointment had it not been for what the Lord spoke to Ellie in the morning and her resilience to let Him move. Teach your child how to hear the voice of their Father. Encourage your child how to stand on His word. Train yourself on how to follow His leading through your children.

IF YOU PRAY FOR HIM

This story still brings tears to my eyes years later. In 2012 I felt led to take my then 8-year-old twins to the Voice of Apostles in Florida. It was a life-changing experience for us as a family. On the last night, I took them out to a lively pizza joint with lots of noise and activity, but I seemed to get lost in watching one particular family sitting across from us. I could see wealth and success all over the dad. He was a proud man of prestige as he had much to show for his life’s dedication. But I could also see intense shame. I could not shake it. While his kids bounced around, he remained unusually still. I heard the Lord say clear as a bell, “If you pray for him, I will heal him.” I was unclear about what he needed healing of, but I told the Lord, “Yes,” yet somehow knew that doing so in a public place wouldn’t be honoring, so I waited for the right time. I can’t explain it other than I had the gift of faith and knew that he would be healed. We ended up finishing at the same time, and when he attempted to stand up, I noticed the crutches that were used to drag his legs across the floor. My heart broke for him and the source of his shame. When we both got outside, I approached him and chatted briefly, and he seemed friendly. When I asked if I could pray for him, he said, “For what?” and immediately got defensive. Having to state the obvious, he became enraged and publicly humiliated the girls and me for wanting to pray for him. It was hard. He mocked me and gathered others to laugh at us. Ugh. As a family, we have prayed for scores of people and have had very few people decline, but this was different. When we got in the car, I started to cry. My sweet Lauren said, “Mom, I am sorry he wasn’t kind to you,” and my tears gave way to deep emotion. I told the girls I wasn’t crying because I got rejected and made fun of. I was crying because despite his extraordinary success, the man had a wound, and God wanted to heal him, but he built a wall around his weakest area and wouldn’t let anyone in. Years later, the story still brings a tear to my eye, not for the rejection I endured but because of his unwillingness to receive the love God had for him through us. Obedience isn’t about making us great, popular, or looking good. It is about the love God has for others.