Before your child leaves for school, have them ask, “Jesus, how do You feel about me?” This helps them enter the building with the TRUTH about their identity. When they come home from school, and you notice them being off but aren’t sure why, have them ask again. Sometimes they just need help realigning themselves after being surrounded by spiritual orphans all day.
Sons & Daughters
Sons & Daughters vs. Spiritual Orphans
Seen, Heard & Valued
I was in a season where I was aware that the words coming out of my mouth were critical and sharp. I am not typically one to hold a grudge or offense for very long, but it was like I was constantly calling out the bad. Little things like the man who cut me off, or the person who didn’t use their blinker, or the lady who didn’t return her shopping cart. Once I said it, I let it go but it bothered me that I even had the eyes to see it. They were things that should not be requiring my energy or time.
I became so aware of it that I told the kids I would pay them $1 every time they caught me being critical. But it only seemed to increase.
I finally met with my friend who is a professional counselor and asked her what in the world was the problem that I could not control my critical words. She said something to me that not only changed my life and set me free but became a KEY that I have used with others for their freedom.
She said, “Shame HAS to blame” and began to introduce me to the profound effects that shame has on our mind, body, and soul. Shame is so toxic to our existence that it kills, shuts down and robs of us of our God-given abilities. Shame is like acid. By blaming others (my critical words) it was releasing some of the toxicity. It was survival to manage the shame. I HAD to blame. The goal, therefore, was not to manage the release of the shame but to resolve the shame once and for all.
Thus began a several month-long journey of discovering the root of the shame and how to release it GOD’S WAY.
I created a ten-day online experience for others to join me on the journey of loving yourself deeper, wider and more passionately than you have been loved before.
This is a self-guided class at your own convenience. You will watch a video teaching and for the rest of the days, I provide activities and exercises to do based on the video teaching. The second week focuses on how to raise children to be proactive so they never have to find themselves again down the road.
As an ASCEND member you can enroll in this self-guided class at no additional charge.
Some of you need to repeat this out loud until your mind and heart believe it.
I AM GOING TO BE OKAY! I AM GOING TO BE OKAY! I AM GOING TO BE OKAY! I AM GOING TO BE OKAY! I AM GOING TO BE OKAY! I AM GOING TO BE OKAY! I AM GOING TO BE OKAY!
Because I am a Daughter/Son to the Creator of the universe. He cares about me, knows how to protect me, and leads me to still waters. I am under His wing, which shelters me from all that comes my way.
One of the greatest tools I have as a parent against the sex industry is to teach my children that it isn’t about laws, rules, or legalism but rather identity. People who do not know who they are will use their bodies for their worth and value. We aren’t just guarding our eyes but guarding the person who doesn’t know who they are. I often will say, “That is someone’s daughter,” or “No one taught him who he is,” and the kids have learned over time that sexual choices are rooted more in identity than in sexual behavior. Spiritual orphans use their flesh to feel worth and value. A Son and Daughter know their worth and value and can therefore manage their flesh accordingly. Don’t just read this and say AMEN. Go teach your children about it.
Ellie came to me one night with a nervous smile and tears in her eyes. I asked what was going on, and she said that she needed to come clean about an email she got from the school saying she BOMBED a math test. I said, “Okay, thanks for letting me know,” and her lip began to quiver. I asked what was wrong, and she said, “I need you to pray for me. I know it is okay that I didn’t do well, but I feel so slimed with shame right now (tears).” Can I just say how HAPPY it made me that at 13, she can catch the shame slime and be so articulate about it? We asked Jesus what lie she was believing, and she said, “Something is wrong with me (aka shame).” We broke agreement with it, and I just held her. She KNOWS it is okay not to get straight A’s every single time, and she KNOWS I would not be upset with her. But the enemy tried nonetheless to throw a blanket of shame. She wasn’t coming under it. She just needed help throwing it off. Not today, Satan.
Is there an area that you burn with jealousy? A spiritual orphan sees what others have and sees lack. They believe that there isn’t enough for them and, therefore, can’t celebrate the blessings of someone else. A Son/Daughter sees what God has done in someone else’s life, and it gives them hope and excitement for what is possible.
You can’t fix fatherlessness with fathers or mentors who are spiritual orphans.
I wholeheartedly agree with what this mom in class has to share about speaking identity over her child.
“I just love all the ideas for teachable moments! My parents, probably my mom mostly, would always say positive things to me, but it never came back to God. When you think it’s just your mom’s opinion, it’s easy to dismiss the validity, but knowing who we are to God is breathtaking. Having that strong foundation of being able to call out the lies so easily because I know the truth would have dramatically changed my life. I spent too much time believing those lies, and my identity has been weak. I pray that God will lead me to be the parent that can call out the good as beautiful gifts from Jesus and also call out the lies from the enemy so we can throw them out!”
The more you become a Son/Daughter, the more conflict you will have in areas that did not phase you before. It isn’t that you are getting ‘worse’; it is that God is teaching you who you are, and with that comes an intolerance for the things that oppose your identity and calling. This is where we need to rise up in our authority over the things that once influenced us, but that are now defeated under His foot in our lives.
The enemy has seduced many to believe that anyone who goes against their grain is a wolf in sheep’s clothing and believes it is their heavenly duty to disempower them and protect against them. While it is true that the Bible talks about those who pretend to be God’s children when they have evil intent, I believe the majority of people in our homes and churches are sheep in wolf’s clothing. A wolf in sheep’s clothing is a heart/motive issue. A sheep in wolf’s clothing is an identity issue. One requires protection and exposure. The other requires mothers and fathers to call out their real identity. The way to help rid someone of wolf’s clothing (fleshly or sinful behavior) is to call out who they are and believe in them. As you call them higher, their old nature falls off of them. Be careful what you judge to be a wolf when, in fact, it is God’s little lamb.