ASK LISA – LOVE LANGUAGES

How do I spend quality time with all of my children when they are all home all the time?

How do I spend quality time with all of my children when they are all home all the time?

While the heartbeat of every family will be different, I realize this is a dilemma most parents of multiple children face. An ounce of connection is worth a pound of conflict! If you want peace in your home, connecting with your children in a way they understand is KEY. Not every child needs ‘quality time,’ but to have love spoken in the language they understand (time, service, words, touch, or gifts). I would start by making sure everyone’s love language is known by taking the online quiz. This is important because it takes your effort and intention and lands it right in their heart.

I remember when we were going through our lowest and most painful seasons. I had ripped my carotid artery on top of it and was at a high risk for stroke or aneurysm. The last thing I wanted to do was sit on the floor and play Candy Land! But I knew that if I didn’t make connection with each of them a priority, I would pay for it elsewhere. I made a chart of each child’s name and made sure I was connecting with them 1:1, even for five minutes every single day. It sounds silly now, but it was survival, and I honestly believe this is what allowed us to sail through our roughest season together as a family. 

Additional creative ways to connect: Put on a movie for the other kids and explain, “I am not to be interrupted for the next fifteen minutes. This is (Lauren’s) time to connect with me.” Keep a child up a few minutes past bedtime. Tell your child you are going to wake them up for a special breakfast date with you in the morning (they will jump out of bed). Lay a blanket down on the driveway and play a game or chat. I once told my daughter to grab a soda and meet me in the garage in ten minutes. I had a chair waiting for us, and we just talked about her world. Let them help you make dinner. Ask Holy Spirit to give you creative ways to SEE your child today.

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