ASK LISA – CONTROLLING VS. STRICT PARENTING

Can you give specific examples of the difference between controlling vs. strict parenting?

Can you give specific examples of the difference between controlling vs. strict parenting?

While firm parenting and control look/feel the same on the outside, the difference is the heart behind it.

Control is: I NEED for you to do this so that *I* am okay and at peace.

Firm parenting is: I NEED for you to do this so that *YOU* benefit (grow, are protected, have character, are owning your responsibility, etc.).

The way to tell is to check your peace. If you tell a child to do something and they refuse, yes, it is frustrating, but are you losing it and getting triggered, or are you able to sit and work with them until they get it? Control generally stems from their behavior touching a wound or hurt in us, and we try to control them to get them to stop so we can feel better. God wants those places healed in us so that we can give them the firm parenting they need to become whole adults.

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