Teens girls have been fairly smooth sailing for me. When emotions are big I feel confident in how to respond and help them. Teen boys, on the other hand, have refined me to my core. I love my son dearly and connection with him is important to me, but I have been uber challenged in how to remain connected to him while he is finding his own way. I have full awareness that I, as a mom, can not fully bring him into manhood and learning how to do this dance has been interesting. There are parts of this season with him that have made me feel so inadequate, weak and even worried. Yet it has made me all the more dependent upon the Lord in a new and fresh way.
I was crying out to God recently for strategy and help when He told me to tap into the incredible men around us who have more wisdom and knowledge than I do in this area. I have been blown away by their insight and surprised how similar all of their responses were. Men really do hold keys into a young man’s heart.
This is the text I sent to a handful of men:
Hello! I am asking a couple of men who I trust for some feedback. Hudson is 14 1/2 and clearly shifting seasons. I am sensitive to these changes and want to grow in supporting him to become all that God has for him even if the male brain and wiring are not my norm. Would you be willing to give me insight on the following questions from your perspective as a Dad but also when you were his age?
🎯What is something he really NEEDS at this age/stage?
🎯What is one of the worst things a Mother could do at this age?
🎯What is something that I could do as his mom to affirm his need to pull away and become his own individual?
🎯Any additional thoughts?
I sincerely value hearing and learning how best to parent him!